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We are told not to lie, so what happens when

You would prefer your children to stay away from kids that are doing things you don't allow them to do and there is no way to avoid them....
Don't get me wrong I adore the kids, but don't want my kids doing what they are doing...
Kids will be kids, but you tend to act and do what is around you... I don't want that...
How would you handle this one?

 
KFree907

Asked by KFree907 at 2:23 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • how old are your kids? are they old enough to understand that what the other kids are doing is wrong, and you do not want them doing it? i would turn it into a teaching opportunity, that way you are not lying. something like "i do not mind you playing with so and so, but sometimes so and so do XXX and i really do not like that or approve of it, and i do not want you getting involved in that. maybe once in a while so and so can come over here to play for a little while, but i do not want you spending too much time with them".
    annanonnymommy

    Answer by annanonnymommy at 2:25 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • If they're young I'd simply not let them be around those kids. Unless you live in the same house, I don't see why you can't avoid them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • depends on what the kids are doing....if my dd wants to hang out with pot smoking idiots when she's a teen i'll just straight up tell her why i disagree with it
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 2:24 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Honesty is always the best policy. If you feel you need to choose which people your children should or shouldn't be around then you should be honest with them as to why. Personally, I don't feel I have the right to choose who my children choose to be friends with, all I can do is raise them to know how they should act, how they should live & how they should react to others, and then trust that they will make the right choices regardless of what their friends do... Even if you were to completely forbid a friendship, it's never going to actually stop them from making wrong choices from time to time - mistakes are a part of growth.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:39 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My son is 8 and I do exactly what annanonnymommy suggested. I am honest about what the other child does that I do not approve of. If I'm not honest with my son about my disapproval all I can do is hope that he doesn't repeat it. If I am truthful about my reasoning then he knows he will still have a chance to play with his friend but that I expect certain behaviors from both of them when they are in my care. I know there is always a chance that my son will be honest with his friend about my disapproval. I did it when I was young. However, it's a risk I've decided I'm willing to take with other parents to ensure my child is raised to the best of my abilities.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 2:42 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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