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6 Bumps

At what point is a marriage considered "successful."

I've been married nearly 5 years, I consider our marriage to be very successful, we don't fight, we have a very strong relationship and the love has never been stronger... However, many people seem to feel that 5 years isn't long enough to consider a marriage as a success... So that made me wonder, what is success? Is it 10 years? 15? 45?? I've known marriages that ended in divorce after well over 40 years together, does that mean it was a failure? And if so was it always a failure? And if so how can any marriage be considered a success until death actually ends it and proves that yes, it was til death...

Where is the line?

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 2:56 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • i guess you have to be dead and buried nex to each other for some to think it was a success

    if you think it is successful...then, there you go=success!
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:58 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • When you can get through the great ups and the terrible downs, regardless of what they, are and still standing side by side. I would consider that a great success.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 2:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think it is a success! I too have been married for 5 yrs together for 9 yrs! As long as you feel successful it is!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 2:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Well, I think it is successful each day that goes by that you are still together and still in love. I don't know how you would draw a line.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • You think too much! A marriage is successful if it is working and both involved people are happy. Marriages have ups and downs. There are times when some marriages flounder and struggle for ground. Marriages are WORK. I don't think there is any timeframe that a couple can reach and sit back and say their marriage is successful. Every day you love and are loved by your spouse is a success to me. Every time you work through an issue together or survive a crisis together is a success to me. Every time you feel like giving up then look at your spouse and remember why you fell in love with them is also a success to me.

    JMO
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 3:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Marriage is hard and kudos to all who r still in love and still together!! Like my hubby and me over 17 years!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My personal opinion.

    A successful marriage is: One in which BOTH spouses are : happy, satisfied, fulfilled, respected, appreciated and loved in the relationship. Not one sometimes, the other at othertimes, or well we were both happy for a brief period in 1997..lol.. But BOTH feeling those things conisistently in the marriage. Yes there are days were we don't feel those things, but we are all human, and we all have "off days". However, if BOTH feel those things, and express those things to one another on a regular basis, those off days do not do as much damage or cause as much discord.

    Some people can be married 50 years and never reach a place where both feel those things the majority of the time.
    Some can be married 5 years and feel those things the majority of the time.

    My husband and I. Did not reach that point until 12-13 years in. We are now 25 years in and going strong :-)
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think there is no point of success I think it is a life long journey. If there was a point of success than there would never be room for additional growth. I think you can have multiple feelings of success maybe milestones would be more appropriate.
    but if I had to think of a point of success maybe it would be when your kids are grown and married and have kids of their own and are happy and have good careers, you can feel like you did a good job as a team (you and your SO) or at death.. Til' death do us part. If you can make it to that point that your marriage was a success! you made it through without divorce.
    CarlieJS

    Answer by CarlieJS at 3:03 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • When your still married at the time of the other's death, I'd say you made it.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 3:05 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • ... Only if you are not the one responsable for the other's death.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 4:03 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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