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Would you let a family member who committed a very henious crime back in your life after they served their time?

My Step mother was leaving a party 15 yrs ago drunk and coked out of her mind and hit and ran a 19 yr old father of a 12 week old baby killing him instantly. She ran from the state and had to be sent back to the state in which the crime occured but was not tried for it for 5 yrs because she was hiding from the jurisdiction of that state. She served 10 yrs of a 25 yr sentence and released on parole last week for good behaviour.She sent a friends request on FB yesterday and I am not sure I am ready to "friend" her....

 
4_28_bbboy

Asked by 4_28_bbboy at 3:06 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (12,593 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • It depends on what you feel..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:08 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I would not get back in touch,keep her out of your life!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:08 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Everyone makes mistakes and deserves to be forgiven, if she is truly remorseful and wants to establish a genuine relationship I would give it a try, it wouldn't hurt just to try.

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 3:08 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • If you're not ready, don't feel obliged to add her.... On the one hand, if she cleaned up her act and gave up drugs and alcohol, I could see (eventually) giving her another chance. What she did was terrible, but it sounds like she was pretty messed up at the time. However, it's entirely up to you. I don't know how close you were before any of this happened, but choosing whether or not to let her back in your life is your decision, and yours only.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:09 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I would like to think so... I guess it depends on how close of a relative and whether or not they had truly changes, not just served time.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:09 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Actually I am going through a very similar situation right now. I have a family member that went to prison worked really hard to get out. She came home we all embraced her with open arms and had high hopes for her and very soon after (Only 3 months) she slipped up and violated her probation and went back to prison. She worked hard again some family members wrote letters to help get her back out and she just got out and I just don't know if I have the faith that her "good doing" is genuine.
    CarlieJS

    Answer by CarlieJS at 3:10 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • if you have had no contact in all those years, you are not blood related, and feel no desire to contact her
    then no, i would not

    good luck to her, but this is not your responsiblity to befriend her
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:10 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I wouldn't accept the request. I am very careful about the kind of people that I let into my life, I don't want my kids growing up thinking that things like drugs, alcohol, drunk driving, spousal abuse, et.c., are ok. I denied a friend request from my mom's brother because he's been in and out of jail since he was 17 and while I can forgive him for the things that he's done, that doesn't mean that I need to have him around my kids.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 3:11 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Honestly I wouldnt. It would be hard to disown family but to protect my family I would have nothing to do with her. Drugs are so hard to overcome and even though she could not do drugs when in prison...so they say...I would not run the risk of her getting coked out again and being around anyone in my family.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 3:12 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Very likely not and in this case, definitely not.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 3:14 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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