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I am reconnecting with my biological fathers children and family but my mom is pissed because of it...

I told her that I was talking to my biological fathers children and some cousins, aunts, and uncles and she lost it. My biological father has passed on. I told her that I will talk to whom ever I choose and they are my other family by birth. (I am 41 yrs old btw) She never told me about him until I was 24 or 25 yrs old (always thought my stepdad was my real dad) and feels that I am the product of a past she never wanted me to know about. She said she left when I was an infant and hid from them for 24-25 yrs. Well I asked her what was so bad about her past and she clams up and ignores or avoids the questions but does say it was not abuse. Should I ask his side of the family what is her problem with them or why she wont acknowledge they exist? I feel like I am missing a part of me and who I am. I feel different from my mom and her side of the family. I want to know more about my Father.


Asked by 4_28_bbboy at 3:16 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (12,593 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You have every right! Just do not tell her about any contact you have with them! I to have a bio dad that has not been in my life all my life! But I did talk to him a handfull of times in my life and now choose not to have a lot to do with him due to his lifestyle!

    Answer by jem102675 at 3:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • You have every right to do as you please and learn who you are. No one should take that away, regardless of their feelings.

    Answer by bjojola at 3:19 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I don't see anything wrong with getting their side of the story, I don't know that I'd come out and ask directly though. Maybe just let the conversations flow and see? idk My father came back into my life after 20 years and my mom was not a happy camper either. She tried to act neutral but then brought up some things that really were not things I needed to know to try to keep me away from him. Not exactly what you're going through but I do understand some of your emotion with it. ((hugs))

    Answer by Jessica157 at 3:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • i would say depending on your relationship with your mom. if you are very close then maybe let her know this is so important and that you plan to ask his family if she doesn't. It seems to me that i would rather get this type of information from someone i trust. i hope that you find what you are looking for. i cant imagine this is easy. i wish you the best.

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 3:44 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • She needs to get over it. They are your family also.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:52 PM on Nov. 18, 2010