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2 Bumps

What would you do in this situation?

My sister has been trying to have a baby for the past 7 years now. She has one child and would love to have more, but her husband does not seem to be fond of the idea. He makes certain comments that gives the impression that he has had a vasectomy. (Not sure if he has or not, but he sure talks about it a lot). She literately cries every month when she gets her period, and is so devastated. I hate seeing her like this! I was curious what you would do as her sister in this situation, without intruding or making possible false accusations about her husband and her life. Im just the one who sees her in tears all the time and I hate seeing her like this and wish I could fix it....

 
TsMommy428

Asked by TsMommy428 at 3:28 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,155 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Me personally. If I had a sister, and she was going through something like that.

    Be her shoulder to cry own.
    Be her support to lean on.
    Be the ears she needs to hear her woes and pain.

    That's it. Actually getting involved in regards to: her husband wanting/not wanting another child, her husband possibly having a vasectomy, or anything of that nature would be totally off limits for me. That is not ground for me to tread, just as it would not be ground for a sister to tread in my life.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:33 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I'm sure it's extremely difficult watching one you love (and by this post I would guess that you & your sister are close, which would make it even harder) in pain and going through this.

    However. The issues that you have questions about. Are things that she really and truly needs to be talking about with her husband. This is an area that they should be communicating openly, honestly, and safely with one another. They should be able to talk to another, tell one another anything and everything in this world. That's part of a healthy marriage.. Right now, based solely on what you have shared, their marriage is sounding like there is a possibility that it's not that happy/healthy of a marriage at this point and time. They need to start talking and working on these things IF that is the case. If I were your sister, these issues in my marriage, would take precedence over getting pregnant again. But that's just me.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:47 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Bump
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 3:47 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Be there for her, is best.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 3:50 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • She should just ask or see if she can call his doctor and check his medical records
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 3:30 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • has she asked him about it? Does she suspect this also? if not have you mentioned it to her?
    CarlieJS

    Answer by CarlieJS at 3:31 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I haven't flat out asked her, because I know how much it devastates her, but I have dropped hints and she just says, "I don't even want to think about that, I don't think he would ever do that too me.."
    TsMommy428

    Comment by TsMommy428 (original poster) at 3:33 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • She really needs to talk to her husband about it. If she is that upset every month and wants more children that bad than i would think this would be something her and husband need to be discussing. Maybe you should ask her if he has had the proceedure done or not. Obviously if he has, she doesnt know about it or she wouldnt be trying to get pregnant. I think the communication in their relationship needs some help. If you are close to your brother in law, maybe you could talk to him about it because you are so worried about your sister and if he doesnt know about whats going on with her maybe that will be a way to open some communication about the subject. Good luck sweetie.
    NewMommie333

    Answer by NewMommie333 at 3:34 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • You're right pixie, It's just so hard to see!
    TsMommy428

    Comment by TsMommy428 (original poster) at 3:34 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Thank you NewMommie! I appreciate the input!
    TsMommy428

    Comment by TsMommy428 (original poster) at 3:35 PM on Nov. 18, 2010