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3 Bumps

Is it wrong for me to want to be more than just a Wife & Mother?

I have been a stay at home mom for 11 years now. All 3 of my kids are in school now and my husband just got the promotion of his dreams that he has being working and training hard for. I told myself that I would come back to my goals once the all the kids are in school full time, well that was 2 years ago, and here I sit gathering dust...becoming part of the furniturn in my house. I have love, cared for, and supported our family's lives, goals, and dreams for all these years...but now i find myself feeling alone and it too much to ask to let me become more than just a wife and do something for "me" for a doesnt mean that I love my husband or kids any less...I just want to love me again too!

Answer Question

Asked by MelodyFaith at 3:35 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • It's not wrong. It's who you are. Do whatever you need to make that happen.

    Answer by ballewal at 3:37 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Nope, not wrong. It's your turn for you!

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:37 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • The family is moving on and so should you. Enjoy!

    Answer by musicmom08 at 3:41 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Feel proud of yourself for putting yourself in last place while taking care of your family. Now, look for your happiness and your goals. Go for it and hope everything works out great. Keep us post it, I would like to know what kind of goals you want to accomplish. Best wishes.

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 3:42 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Beyond all else you are still YOU, and you need a hobby or a part time job...something to feel whole again! That doesnt make you less makes you better! Whatever makes you happy in life is a necessity for your sanity! You supported your families its YOUR TURN! have fun with it though...dont pick something that will stress you out!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:42 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My personal view.

    Every woman is her self first and foremost.. A wife & mother after that. If a woman is not the best "Me" she can be, then she can not very well be the bests mom & wife that she can be. An unhappy woman, makes an unhappy wife & mother. One can not be unhappy and disatisfied with themselves and lead a happy fulfilling life at the same time.

    Each and every woman. Must be herself . For some women, that entails more than it does for others. Some women are perfectly happy with their lives being husband & children, with all focus on them. Some women are not happy that way. Each woman has to live her life in the manner that makes HER the happiest. Women need to be happy, satisfied, fulfilled with themselves, in order to be satisfied, fulfilled and happy wives & mothers.

    If you feel you "need more" out of life. Get it. Put into action what you need to do in order to achieve your satisfaction/happiness.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:42 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Being a stay at home mom for all these years has been a bigger gift to your children than you will ever know. I stayed at home with my children until they were in high school. Pretty much devoted my life to them. But I felt that I was losing myself and becoming almost mindless. So I decided to do something that I always wanted to do, become a psychotherapist. I began college part time so that I could still work around the children's schedules. As they became older and more independent and could drive themselves places, I increased my coursework. It was wonderful having the flexibility of school and doing the courses that I could manage. Learning is exciting, stimulating and fullfilling for me. I'm now a psychotherapist and behavioral specialist for children and parents. I felt I was able to do it all. You can too! Just find your passion and do it!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 3:45 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Nope, there is nothing wrong with wanting more. I have a 7yr old son and am pregnant and I work as a nursing assistant...while it is necessary that I work, it is also great because I feel fullfilled as a person when I'm working. A happy Mommy is a better mommy:)

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:50 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I am so emarrassed to say...but i have yet to even find the time or support to get my GED during these past 11 years...its not that i am looking to start a career (although my passion & goal was always to become a nurse and work at Brook Army Medical Center) but i just want to find something to do...that gives me some sort of accomplishment or feeling of self-worth...whether it be a job or hobby.

    Comment by MelodyFaith (original poster) at 3:56 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • everyone should live a balanced life which includes wearing many "hats" . we have the mom hat, the wife hat, the friend hat, the sister hat, etc. you should also have YOUR HAT, your time, your something that is yours. there is nothing wrong with wanting to have something for yourself, to achieve YOUR personal goals.

    Answer by katiPeas at 4:05 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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