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2 Bumps

How soon is too soon to get married?

My mom just made me feel really bad when I told her I was bringing my boyfriend to Thanksgiving Dinner. His family graciously invited me and my kids. We've been together for going on 3 months now and we met back in high school. He's very serious about me and so far, no red flags or trouble. We have a great relationship that works. He mentioned possibly proposing before the end of the year. People on my side of the family think that's, well, crazy and ridiculous. So how soon is too soon?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I think it depends on the people and what they are each ready for, there is no time limit. If you feel you know him well enough to say yes than thats what you should do. Its your decision and no one elses.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 3:51 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My hubby and I met in Nov. Did "technically" start dating til March.... he proposed in Dec. So, that was only 9 months after dating. We did have a year and a half engagement. Married in June. Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary of meeting.
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 3:52 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Nothing wrong with proposing and accepting, but no need to rush, make it a longer engagement-say 2 years. GL.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 3:55 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • EVERY marriage had a 50% chance of working out... it doesnt matter if you get married after a week of knowing each other or 5 years....

    My aunt dated a man for 6 years, then they got married and were divorced 5 months later...

    My parents got married after 6 months and have been together for 26 years..
    2lilbumblebees

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 4:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I agree with the answer above me. I think that every couple is different. Many times people think that the longer you date someone before you get married the better chance you will have at having a successful marriage. Dating longer just gives you more time to get to know each other more thoroughly vs getting married sooner and then continuing to get to know each other why being married. I definitely think that regardless of what you decide marriage is a very serious commitment and one that should be taken seriously. And remember that it's your decision no one elses. At the end of the day you will be married to him not your family.
    hljones

    Answer by hljones at 4:32 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Personally it is nice to get to know the person before even thinking of getting engaged. I would never move in either. I mean while having young kids.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 5:11 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think it depends more in the people than the amount of time. I know people who were together for years before getting married who aren't together anymore. And then my mother married my stepfather after just six weeks and they've made it over 13 years so far. It really just depends on the people and the effort the put into the relationship.
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 5:16 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • It really depends on the relationship, remember, you never really know someone until you live together. I have been with DF for only 4 months, but we both knew immediately that we were meant for each other and are getting married in the spring.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 6:02 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My view

    It depends on the 2 people in that relationship. What each of them want. What each of their expectations are. ect.

    My husband and I met, dated, became engaged and married all in a 5 month span.. We have now been married 25 years.

    I have known other couples who dated and even lived together for years. And divorced very shortly after becoming married.

    How long to wait, really and truly depends on the 2 people in the relationship.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:28 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think the answer varies for each person. What someone else might think is too soon I might think is just right, or vice versa. I can say that what my mother told me years ago is so true, when it's right, you'll absolutely know. You won't have any doubts, even the doubts lurking in the far corner of your brain that you would never say out loud. I had absolutely none.
    TwoBrownDogs

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 9:07 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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