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If you already had a child with a disability, or 2 or 3 kids with problems, would you have more?

I would have to think long and hard about having a second, if the problems child number one had were caused by genetics.

 
dancinintherain

Asked by dancinintherain at 7:25 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,529 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • I have a special needs daughter and we visited a geneticist before choosing to have a second child. She is a beautiful and capable child, but I didn't want to do therapy 2-3 times a week for TWO kids! We weren't able to identify the cause of my daughter's low muscle tone/ developmental delays, and we are now pregnant with our second. I'm praying for a healthy baby with no low tone, but will be happy no matter what.

    KatiPeas, she didn't say people shouldn't, she asked what you would do and shared what she should do. Don't be so touchy!
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 7:49 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think it would depend on the issues... My oldest has an anxiety issue, but with therapy it's something he can live a normal life with, even though it's genetic. Now, if it were something that took more time or special facilities, or something, I may think twice... But we are pregnant now with number 3, and we were actively trying NOT to have more, so I really didn't have the choice unless we had aborted, which I can't imagine I would do unless there were something life threatening going on...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:31 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My sister has 6 children who have various disabilities... we're not sure the degree that the youngest will be affected. She (my sister) also has "Concussion Syndrome" (google it- and her case is moderate, enough so that I will not leave my kids alone with her)... Though that has nothing to do with genetics, one would think that after 2 children who have disabilities that are due to genetics, she would have done the responsible thing- stopped having children.

    I personally would have to weigh the quality of life for the individual (and not just in childhood), and of the lives that we directly affect before even considering for a second child.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:31 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • My oldest has autism, which they think could be a genetic issue. I had no problems having a second child. My oldest was with my first husband. I found out after my son was diagnosed that he has a two cousins who has children on the spectrum. I was also told that the pediatrician had recommended that one of his nephews be tested for Aspergers, but my ex's brother refused and then they changed doctors. I have no history of autism in my family and my hubby does not either.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:34 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • really? its an individual choice, or the couples choice., being special needs is not a death sentence you know
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 7:43 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Kati, I think you are wired today. I was just asking not bashing anyone who does have more kids. I know your children have problems, I am in no way saying you made a bad choice or are a bad mom.
    dancinintherain

    Comment by dancinintherain (original poster) at 8:12 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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