Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do?

There's a little girl that lives in our neighborhood who's only 9 years old and her parents leave her at home alone alot, sometimes she's even locked out of her house. I called CPS about 2 months ago because I was concerned about her wandering all over the neighborhood and being left alone. She comes to my house and yard all the time to play with my kids which would be fine if she had some manners and respect and if I wasn't so afraid that she'll get hurt or something and her parents would sue us because obviously they don't take responsibility for her. .

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Jul. 5, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Every state has different laws regarding what CPS can/will do. I live in TN and here, sometimes it takes continual reporting to get something fixed. If you have any neighbors that you feel comfortable discussing this with, then I would ask that they also report. The more people and more times a situation is reported, the more likely it is someone will respond. If your state has mandatory reporting, you could also call your local crisis center, and they could also help you report.
    tashamae921

    Answer by tashamae921 at 9:05 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • cont.Yesterday evening we had friends over for a 4th of July picnic and my husband was in the front yard shooting off fireworks and the little girl invited herself over, followed my husband in the house and started eating the chips and salsa my friend had brought over for us, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING!! She just started grabbing them. I sent her home later when she came inside asking to use the bathroom, I told her to go home and use her own bathroom because she only lives across the street ( one house down), and her parents were actually home then and she could get in her house. I thought I had gotten rid of her about a month ago when she invited herself over to swim in our pool and I told her no because I wasn't going to be held responsible for her, but then in the last week she started coming back. I feel sorry for her, but I dont' want her hanging around my house, I know that sounds harsh but I have to protect my family first. What else can I do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I'd continue to report it and like someone else mentioned, talk to the other neighbors and see if they'll do the same. Where I live, there isn't a minimum age for letting your kids stay home alone. It's up to the parent's whether they think the kids are able to be alone without guidance. If she keeps coming over, I'd let her know that she isn't allowed to come back until her mom comes to talk with you. Maybe that would clear some things up? That would give you a chance to voice your concerns.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:42 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I know what you are going through. I had the same peoblem, ecxcept that I would also catch this boy going through drawers and cabinets! I had enough and had to talk with him to set him straight. I told him that when he was in my house, I expected him to behave himself as I expect my kids to behave themselves while at someone else's house. I then laid out the rules, told him to either follow them or stay home. He did. A few years later, now a teen, he recently witnessed a younger child misbehaving at our house. He was shocked and embarrassed that he was once like that.
    I think you should lay out the rules and expect them to adhere. She may not know what is expected her at another house. It sounds as though she is neglected by her own parents. Poor girl!
    Kauna

    Answer by Kauna at 9:59 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • I would continue you to call CPS. It is so sad that some parents don't care about their children and then to top it off CPS is so overwhelmed they seem like they don't care. I ran into this problem a few years ago but thank the Lord they two children were very well behaved.
    tandvjung

    Answer by tandvjung at 10:41 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • My philosophy of CPS. They leave children with people who don't need them and take them from parents who don't need them taken away. THEY ARE A JOKE!!! If the child is in immediate danger then call the police. I live in the Communistwealth of VA so there you go!!!!
    perfectkitten

    Answer by perfectkitten at 11:50 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • Thanks everyone! I know I sound mean and harsh when I say I don't want her at my house, but I have 2 children of my own plus a husband who works rotating shifts and I've had to send this little girl home because she was screaming really loud while my husband was trying to sleep after working midnight shift. I've explained to her every time she comes these are the rules, don't scream, don't let my dog out, don't break my kids toys, etc. and when she doesn't listen I send her home. I feel sorry for her, I really do because she is very immature and socially deficient for her age, her speech is horrible( very delayed)and also very overweight and I worry that because she's alone so much that she's a prime target for a sexual predator. She has no problem just going into complete strangers houses. That's why I called CPS to begin with but as someone else pointed out, they're pretty much a joke.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • Do you know her parents? I would ask them- is it true she is locked out sometimes? And that she is home alone? Ask them, who is responsible for her well-being, what is she instructed to do in case of emergency? I'd talk to the police.


    Like the mom above, I think stating the rules (even making a poster with them on it) is very important but she does need love from somewhere. For example, if she comes by and behaves in the backyard with your kids, then it is time for yall to go inside, it can then be time for her to go home as well. Or if she is hanging out with yall, but begins screaming, tell her, that's strike one. 3 strikes, go home for the day.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 12:42 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • You have to call continuously, like every week or so. it usually takes a while for them to do anything.
    mikki1972

    Answer by mikki1972 at 3:54 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • keep reporting, keep reporting, keep reporting. social services is dense as a brick. ride thier asses.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 5:40 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.