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2 Bumps

how to be more sexually assertive adult content

my husband and i are having a marital bump, and one thing he has pointed out to me is that i'm not vary sexually assertive and i'm never the one to start. the thing is as far as sex gose i've never been. the vary few partners i have had where just we do it and then its over. so you could say my sexual history is vary limited. dose any one have any suggestions on what i can do to be more assertive. i didn't even have sex tell 19 and was not really interested in it in high school. i was raised by a Sunday school teacher so i would put it as i'm a blank slate with little knowledge. please help me


Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Nov. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I don't want to pry but what advice I give seriously depends on where you're at.. what you've tried and/or experienced so far.

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 10:27 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I think you need to find something that turns you both on . Make sure the kids are sleeping tight or at some one's else home, this might be hard but role play with him. Don't try to do stuff that does not come natural because that can take away from the mood. There is a lil freak in you so find that thing that get you both there and just come to him like no matter what he says you all with preform your wifely and husbandly duties. Good luck !


    Answer by karing4elmas at 10:39 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • Read up. There are a lot of good books that can help you get your confidence up and have ideas/a plan in mind when it's time for you to "take the reins". I find having a plan ahead of time helps me not feel panicky trying to come up with my next "move" if you will. Start off slow and small so you don't feel overwhelmed.

    And I don't mean go to sex store for your reference materials, I mean go to the section of your local bookstore that carries books about sex. You might also benefit from exploring what turns YOU on by reading literotica ( is a great place to start).

    It's basically all about confidence hun. You find that and you'll find your inner vixen and your husband will be quite pleased I am sure. Good luCK!

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:39 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • give slow long kisses all over i makes the man go wild

    Answer by jimenez123415 at 11:50 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

  • I hope you figure this out, I'm in a similar situation and I'm 41!
    The problem I have found to be most debilitating is just getting started. All the reading in the universe won't help you if you can't bring yourself to communicate the simple idea "Mama Horny". And all these nice helpful ladies here, with their very rational suggestions, don't know your husband nor do they know what's not going to work. For example, if I tried the role-playing suggestion, my husband would think I had developed dissociative identity disorder or something!
    My advice to you would be to think about what he's communicated to you in terms of his thoughts and feelings and start there.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:34 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • My dh was my first. And in the beginning he would complain that I didn't initiate. And honestly I felt a little self conscious about it. As I got a little more comfortable I would initiate in my way. I would wear something I knew he liked, I would go sit next to him and snuggle and kiss him. Just little ways to signal. So it wasn't quite as aggressive as the way he did it but after talking I let him know that is what I was comfortable doing. We've been together 20 years now and it's no longer an issue lol. I'll send him a text, and to be quite honest I have a "look" and he knows! lol I just don't think it's something you can do drastically, just do what you're comfortable with. Maybe workout some "signals" or code word. I know that may sound silly but it worked for us. The longer you're together the easier and more comfortable you'll feel. GL

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:05 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Is there anything at all that puts you in the mood? If there is try doing that more....I know not much advice. Im sorry. :0/

    Answer by JakesCupcake at 10:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2010

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