Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Could you trust him again?

Ok, so from the title you are probably thinking he cheated, but he did not. Here's the long and the short of it: We met, had a very quick sort of romance, although I hated him at first but he wore me down. We have been married a little over 2 years and I don't know if I can take it anymore! His ex of 18 yrs cheated on him from day one, and so now he is this crazy paranoid, control freak who won't even let me go to my moms house 6 blocks away, I can't go to the store by myself, I have been at work for 4 hours and he has called at least 12 times...just a few things...also, I knew he had been in prison when we met, but the story he told me was something that I could live with, and actually was perfectly fine telling others, because it involved protecting a child. Turns out it was for something else, (nothing violent though) and just recently I found out that while he spun sob story after sob story about being in the Gulf,

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • No... and take it from my personal experience, get out of this relationship as fast as you can. Please. Before it gets worse, before he wears you down more, before the abuse starts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • (continued) he was never actually in the military!! I dealt with his anger about "losing Jerry" and his excuses for being a prick because he had PTSD! I believed this shit for almost 3 years, and now I find out that he had nothing to do with the military EVER! He is constantly lying about money, FREAKS out when I question him about it, but he says "i used it for blah blah..." and then the thing he said hew bought is never there! I am the only one working so this is upsetting! Wow, sorry this is really long. I just need to know, what the hell would you do? work on it? Leave? Help please.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • leave
    Gen

    Answer by Gen at 12:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I would leave. I mean he lied to you it seems for almost your whole relationship, and you are just now hearing the truth. If he is lying about that stuff, what else might he be lying about?
    ProudTeenMom319

    Answer by ProudTeenMom319 at 12:12 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • LEAVE. he can;t be thruthful about anything so how would you ever know who he truly is. he is not who you thought he was and obviously you married someone you didn't know. he is a stranger. how would you trust anything that came out of his mouth now.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Get out. Fast. You are saying all of the warning signs that the abuse is coming soon. First, he has to control you, that is, keep you from going places, keep track of where you are going, and limiting who you talk to. The next step is he gets really angry at you for silly things. Then the verbal abuse. Then the physical or sexual abuse. I can't say this more plainly, kindly or honestly, GET OUT NOW. Call your local women's shelter. Call your family. Take what you need, take the kids, get out of town. He is dangerous to you, your kids and your family. Please take care.
    TwoBrownDogs

    Answer by TwoBrownDogs at 12:18 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Wow, normally I would have said, give him an ultimatum and a chance to start over, but this is WAY overboard! This man is a pathological liar who doesn't expect any better from you, and I have a hard time believing he could change just like that. Be thankful you're working. And go hang out with your momma! :)
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:23 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Oh hunny pack your car and hit the road...this is soooo not worth it. Give him a chance to do what? He is obviously a pro at lying and you deserve so much better!!! If he lied to you from the beginning there is nothing to make him stop doing so now!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 12:40 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Leave now! A similar thing happened to my BF and it was AWFUL! He lied, he stole her money, but didn't let her spend any even though she was the only one working. He belittled me, her entire family, and she still stuck it out for another year (they were together about 3 years). He didn't want her to buy a $50 picture, but he turns around & buys a $12K truck! When she finally said she wanted a divorce, he took her to the cleaners! Seriously, start hoarding your money, cut him off from any bank accounts, take your name off any joint credit cards, separate yourself NOW in preparation for when he tries to collect your $ (& believe me, he will). She was left with no house (though she paid for most of it, no appliances, and thousands of dollars of his debt since they had been married and things were joint. Please, get out now! Good luck!
    Chocolatespring

    Answer by Chocolatespring at 12:52 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • First impressions are usually right. Can you say pathological liar? This is frightening. You are in with a dud. I just really hope you can get out safely. Leave. Don't walk, run. And please be safe.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:54 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
something new

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
anyone else have restless legs???

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN