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My husband works full time. According to him, his only responsibility should be the yard. I do everything else since I stay at home. Is this fair?

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Asked by serendipityme at 9:01 AM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (112)
  • yes, I think that is fair, if you are staying at home, you should be able to take care of everything. we both work full time, and I have my son with me when I work most of the time, and I still do most of the chores.

    Answer by simone_ck at 9:06 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • i just asked almost the same question its not fair. they should be able to do some stuff when they get home or hell even on their days off.

    Answer by mommy033 at 9:07 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • If it's not working for you and your needs aren't being met but his are, then no, it's not fair. "Fair" doesn't mean everyone gets the same thing. "Fair" means that everyone's needs are being met as much as possible. So sit down with him and tell him what it is that you want or need that you aren't getting, and ask for his help in changing things. And make sure you take his needs into account as well.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:10 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • My SO says my job is taking care of the baby (he's only 4 months though). I keep up on the dishes and laundry and he does all the heavy cleaning on weekends. I think it works well.

    Answer by sbastille at 9:16 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Okay, let me say that I don't mind doing everything. My issue is it bugs me to have to do those little things like actually getting his clothes in the hamper, cleaning up his snack mess every morning, putting the trash in the trash can. He will not pick up after himself. Is it asking too much to have him pick up after himself? My kids pick up after themselves. That's all I want. I'll clean the laundry, the house, cook, bathe the kids, & put them to bed I just want him to put away his messes. All the while he's all comfy watching t.v. or playing on the computer. I'm fine with taking care of everything I just don't want to wipe his ass. Sorry for rambling, it's all started to build up. Thanks for replying.


    Answer by serendipityme at 9:16 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Define fair! I have 5 children in the home. (3 on their own elsewhere) My husband pitches in and then I got hear about it on that rare, can't really count on it occasion. No way can I keep up w/ laundry, cooking home cooked meals, transport to practices every day, homework, games, choir, church, religious ed., and college, plus i do part time teaching and doula. Throw in doctor appointments, medical emergencies, a recent wedding, funerals, family obligations, etc) When he complains I remind him that he married me for my looks and sexiness, not to clean the house, and that he has 3 choices 1) hire someone to clean 2) clean it himself 3) get over it. I do the best I can, and sometimes that means waking up at 2 am to "catch up". (oh and yeah, we are NOT the best friends sort of couple. I just call a spade a spade. it was sex for us, and not much else- but we've made it work for 24 years now).

    Answer by onlycathyo at 9:18 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Have men recently lost their minds? Even in "Father knows best" he had on an apron in a couple of episodes. Do these men have women bosses? yep, I think that's what it is, No power/authority at work, but King of the castle. My husband once tried to put me on the spot and was being all macho and said I'm the king of my castle, ruler of the house and wear the pants around here. I replied, very meekly I may say, that yes dear, you are the king of the castle and you do wear the pants. You wear the pants cause that's what I lay out for you to wear, and I am the Queen, and if the Queen aint happy, the kingdom aint happy. Now goe stick that in your pipe and smoke it, and outside please! (LMAO)


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Anonymous, that's exactly what my husband thinks. He thinks he's a king. I've been very frustrated with him lately.

    Answer by serendipityme at 9:24 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Definetley fair, when I stayed home for 10 months with my daughter I did everything house related cooking, cleaning ,laundry, and whatever the baby needed such as baths he helped with diapers and stuff like that. Now I work fulltime and still go home and do the same things I did as a SAHM because its just the way it is. I actually like doing everything bc everything goes my way and if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself. My BF has never scrubbed a toilet or the tub since we been living in our house but he does help out with the baby alot more and sometimes the laundry. I am a clean freak so its best I cook and clean or he gets yelled at cause he does everything half ass and when he cooks he gets my stove dirty, I let him take care of the yard that is what he is good at.

    Answer by Heaven0802 at 9:28 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • if you dont have kids. yes, him working and doing the yard is fair and you the house. if you have kids which im assuming you do since your on cafemom, then he also needs to help out with sy bathtime etc. things like that. questiont hough, on weekends...does he sit around and you work? if so thats bs. a sahm is a fulltime job as well. weekends i would say sunday or something should be a lil work day. we usually do a good cleaning or a home repairs on sunday around 3-4 every weekend.

    Answer by moki1984 at 9:33 AM on Nov. 4, 2008

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