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4 Bumps

14 yrs later and i find out for the last three he lied and had an emotional affair.... adult content

I found out theres this ex co worker of his that he became good friends w/ she gives him money, buys him stuff and text, calls, and even spent time w/ my kids , her kids and the both of them, and she has a phone in her name for him....but theres no intimacy~ supposedly...would you be willing to forgive , go to couples counciling to work on the 14 yr relationship? or through it away?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Do you love him? Do you need him? What are your options if you leave?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:07 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I would not believe is just emotional, men don't do this!! I would inquire and get to the bottom of it all, before taking any steps.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:08 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I HATE hearing "emotional affair". It is impossible for ONE individual to fulfill your emotional needs for life, period. that is why we have other relationships, friendships, etc.

    Would you be upset if it were a man he spent time with? NO. It is no different.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:09 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • yes very much so... my options are wellfair, but love him so much even after everything i've found out...i just pray this is everything i need to no and there is no more
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:09 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • he says shes a good friend and person to talk to
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:10 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I don't agree with Obby.

    A friend shouldn't be buying him stuff, giving him money or giving him a cell phone. I think it depend what he wants to do. If he wants to only have you in his life....etc. Some things are worth saving. Some are not. It's all about what you can live with.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:12 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • The only part I find odd is that you were not informed of this friendship and your kids never even mentioned it to you. I also find it odd she is paying for a cell phone for him. That being said my DH has co-worker friends who are female. They buy him lunch from time to time. He does them favors. they have bought stuff for our kids... The difference is I know about it. Maybe he was afraid this is how you would react if he told you. doesn't make it right but it is something to consider.

    I wuld forgive. Tlak about the friendship. Maybe even meet her and if I felt it would help me to be more accepting of his friends the counseling.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:19 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I would be extremely upset if I were you. All affairs are wrong, it doesn't matter if it is a physical or emotional affair. If you love him and you are both willing to save your relationship it is something the two of you will have to work on together. You will have to learn to trust him again and he has to be willing to stop seeing this other woman. I also feel it was wrong for him to involve your children.
    Good luck to you and your family, I hope everything works out for the best.
    michelle5971

    Answer by michelle5971 at 8:22 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • It depends on what you want. You are the one in control right now.Take advantage of that
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:06 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • First I have a hard time thinkinging they spent that much time together and there was no sex. That being said, my DH has more then one affair on me for about 3 years. We have finally worked over the hump and we are good. But it is more about what do you want?
    christinato

    Answer by christinato at 9:08 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

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