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wheres the blame

my son is 9 adhd , gets in trouble at school. OK fine, Yet every time there's a sign up 4 something like at first it was the Lego league he got his forms to late, Yesterday they handed him a basketball sign up form a week late, i AM angry , I called the school they said everyone got there's on time and blamed him , maybe he did not bring it home right away ,,, i said nope he was to excited about joining, so they said they would look into it, I told them I am starting to think they are doing this on purpose


Asked by kileighsmommie at 8:10 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 20 (8,341 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I know some of these mommies think its the childs fault..(it could be) but lately i am seeing alot of teachers really mess up in our schools when it comes to our children...depending on where he goes to school....... i would talk to his teacher once more and then since it seems you have gone threw this b4 i would go into the office and REALLY express my feeling on this stuff...why would he leave all his other stuff in his folder and just take that out if he really wants to go and do it and understands you need to thinking maybe they are giving it to him late because he has some issue's and do not want to deal with him...alot of teacher's do not want to take the time with adhd students especially when they are young like that ...

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • You need to go in and pick up the forms. It sounds like your son does not complete things. This is a symptom of ADHD. Blaming others is not helping him. You have to show him how to take responsibility himself.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:14 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • He's responsible. He's blaming others for his failings.

    Answer by ihatetocook at 4:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • This is his lack of responsibility - which will continue, as it's clear that you're making excuses for his lack of responsibility. He doesn't need to take responsibility for his lack of attention to things he claims are important to him, because mommy will step in and help him blame others. If you're thinking that will help him in the rest of his life, you might want to think again.

    Answer by missingruth at 6:56 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • No, the school isn't doing this on purpose. What would that get them, you tossing around accusations - like this? Do you really think it would be less problematic for them to deal with you on this type of a matter than it would be to simply "risk" that your son might want to participate in an activity? And if you think that the problems that would create would be less problems than your son would otherwise be? You might want to reconsider the way you're parenting. missingruth (and others) are correct, he is not learning to be responsible because he is being allowed and encouraged NOT to learn to be responsible.

    Answer by lovesergei at 7:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I would guess that your son is to blame here, my kids do things like that, and I just explain to them that they have to be responsible and get their papers to me as soon as they receive them. My DD (11) tried to tell me that ski club forms were given to her yesterday, and the deadline was yesterday - in reality she stuffed the paper in her backpack and forgot about it.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:36 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I agree with But Mommie.

    Answer by older at 9:03 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Sounds odd to me. I woudl tlak to the other parent in the class and see if they are getting their info late as well. I would also consider a communication folder to ensure you are getting your stuff on time and they can't blame him. THEY take it out in the morning to look for note or responses from you and then THEY put his papers or responses into the communication folder and it goes right back into his bag.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:15 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • we get a communication folder and i do check every night, his homework is in there every night , so I'm not thinking he's taking out the fun stuff or forgetting that

    Comment by kileighsmommie (original poster) at 8:19 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I would ask why the stuff isn't going in the folder...

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:00 AM on Nov. 19, 2010