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Are you expected to go to your family's house for christmas instead of having your own celebration?

This comes up for me every year. I have family on both sides that expect me and my family at their houses for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I am at a point in my life where I want to not have to travel all the day long. My daughter is young (three years old) and I just want to create our own traditions and enjoy our own little family at home. And I cannot have either side of the families to my home because they wouldn't sincerely want to come and I wouldn't want to create a drama and guilt for them.


Asked by Kristabell at 9:28 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Holidays

Level 3 (21 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Yes. We go to my MIL's house for Christmas every year. I grew up knowing that I wanted Christmas at my house. I wanted to create that magical day that my Grandma always created when we went to her house. Now, don't get me wrong going to my MIL's isn't a bad experience by any means. It's a lovely day, but it just isn't THAT kind of day that I wanted to create with my family. I want ALL the family to come to my house and celebrate it with us. The kids waking up in their own beds to their own traditions on Christmas. However, I can't bring myself to say anything, because I know how much it means to my MIL to have it at her house. I just really, really want that Christmas celebration to be at home not only for myself, but for my kids.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:41 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • My DH's family is kind of like this, but we do Thanksgiving at someone's house each year. Last year my DH and I did it and this year we will be going to his mom's. I think next year I will be with my mom though. As for Christmas - we travel around that whole week. We have like 5 Christmases. I use to complain but my DH asked me to do it because his grandparents will not be around much longer. So I do it and for the most part it is fun. I refused to not have Christmas morning at my house with just us though.

    Answer by daisysrdeadly at 9:32 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Typically, because we have youth that are usually singing and ringing handbells in church on Christmas Eve, we do something either at my house or my sister's house (she's less than 2 hours down the road). She's in the same boat I in music at church. We make our brother travel to us because he's got no children. Then after we finish with my family - we do something with hubby's family.
    This year though, we are going to be with both my brother and my inlaws (live in same town) for Christmas day because my oldest son is in a college marching band and their band will be marching in the Rose Bowl Parade. He's flying out of a town closer to my inlaws than to our house (his school is 7 hrs from our home) right after Christmas, so we'll all end up heading that way instead.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:33 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I don't celebrate xmas, but my parents do, and they like to spend time with my kids... if they want to celebrate it, they come to me. It is easier for them to travel alone, then me with 3 kids.

    That said, we do celebrate most holidays alone, and enjoy our solitude. Nothing wrong with eliminating travel to help cut out holiday stress.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:33 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Not my family but DH's. Mine lives in another state and understands travel is not always easy or affordable for us. We go there when we can and they come to us if they can. DH's family wants us at their house for every holiday. We finally have a house now instead of an apartment but we haven't been able to really start our own traditions. It's frustrating. We've had to put our foot down a few times but I know it doesn't sink in.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:33 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • We aren't expected, we're invited. It's one of only a few times a year when the entire family gets together so we always accept. It's tradition.
    What we started doing was hosting Christmas day in our home since the family gets together on Xmas eve, not day. That way we have the old traditions and start new ones.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:34 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • We spend Christmas at my mom's every year. My mom's house is 100 miles away, and it means so much to her to spend the morning w/my kids. It is less pressure for me and we have our own traditionss when we come home. I grew up having Christmas at my grandparents, so it is a nice tradition.

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 10:08 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Thanksgiving is at my MIL's house, once I did it bc my Dh was diagnosed with Cancer then and I refused to allow him to
    It was also Christmas at MIL's too, but I kinda put my foot down... Christmas Day is ALWAYS just the 3 of us...NO traveling...
    I don't care who's feelings are hurt...
    So to appease everyone I do ALL Christmas dinners during the month of December... both sides can pick a date if they wish
    to have the family together at MY house up too Christmas Eve...
    So my side of the family is choose the early part of Dec and since my MIL can not travel we will go to her place Christmas Eve,
    but NO Christmas Day... that is for our traditions that we have been building as a family....

    I know that it may sound harsh, but I am the only one outside my oldest dd who only lives 2 blocks away that has children and IS
    expected to up root them and travel... NO... and I don't feel guilty about it at all..

    Answer by gmasboy at 10:59 AM on Nov. 19, 2010