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do you know when to let a marriage go?

do you feel that a marriage is not worth saving if both keep fussing about same issues for a couple of years now, and feels that husband resents me for everthing. he has lied to me half of our marriage about porn addiction, also i had to put up with a friendship he had with a woman that my husband lied about, also with his family not liking me and disrespecting me all the time, and also his parents making their own granddaughter feel that they don't love her and care about her, and they don't care, she is the black sheep or the grandchildren, and they don't care, gave them chances to change but they do alittle for awhile then they go back treating her like she doesn't exsist. this marriage has been so emontional and i am tired of fighting, i feel that my husband is not happy in this marriage . he is felt like he is caught in the middle with parents and me and daughter....does this marriage seem to be worth it?

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lisa98450

Asked by lisa98450 at 10:07 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • My husband and I have been separated for 6 months and there may not be away to save it. But I still don't believe that Divorce is the answer. we both love each other but there is a lot of damage that has been done on both sides. I still believe that the marriage can be saved and I will continue to fight for it. We are going to a marriage counselor so who knows. I am not giving up but I am also being realistic about it.

    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 10:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Can you see yourself not being married to him? Are you happier when he's home or away? Only you can really say if the marriage is over, but it certainly sounds like its dying. If you feel the marriage is worth fighting for (and he does as well), try counseling. Talk to each other. Get all the issues out on the table and see if you can come to an agreement/compromise that you both can live with and be happy about.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:15 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like you have already made up your mind.

    Are you happy? If not you need to find happiness... it is out there.
    christinato

    Answer by christinato at 10:19 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • When the LIES and INFIDELITY ruin the relationship. When you are so unhappy that you don't want to be there anymore. When one of the spouses emotionally abuses the other. When counseling doesn't help the issues. Once the trust is gone in a relationship, there is no relationship.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:27 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Porn addiction needs to be dealt with. There is help for that. Disagreements is how we learn to find common ground. If the two of you agreed on everything, one of you is not necessary. It's not that you fight nor what you fight about that matters--it is how you fight that matters. It sounds like the two of you have not yet learned that part. The family part you probably knew about before you married, and the family comes with the package. Happiness is a choice, and you can choose to be happy or you can use to be unhappy. It's amazing how when you choose to be happy, you start to handle all kinds of things better than when you choose to be miserable. Try focusing on the positive. This is the man you chose to be your husband and the father of your child, so there must be something good about him. Point those things out to him on a regular basis, and he will want to do more to please you. You have the power to do this!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:33 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I thought my marriage was over. My husband and I have been together 5 years. I love him and can't imagen my life, but we also have repetitive arguments. We have started going to spiritual counciling and read the book the 5 Languages of Love (AWESOME BOOK!!) and now we are reading The Power of a Praying Wife (Husband) and I am reading Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage. This has helped us dramatically!!! Please try these books, atleast the love language book. I hope this will help you and don't give up just yet.

    Check out the website for the 5 love languages and take the language test. www.5lovelanguages.com

    Good Luck!!!
    Conley639

    Answer by Conley639 at 11:04 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Oh one more thing......read Ephesians chapter 5 in the Bible, read it with your husband , particularly verse 22-33.

    Conley639

    Answer by Conley639 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Every mariage is worth it.. If you loved him enough to marry him, you can love him enough to fix it.. I see a lot of venting about him and his family.. What about you? Are you completly blameless in this marriage?
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 11:19 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • P.S. Get the book "Love Dare".. I have seen it work for several bad marriages..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 11:21 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Contact the best divorce lawyer you can afford and get some advice about safe guarding your daughter's future. I highly suggest you and your daughter seek out professional support - this is not either of your fault. If you do stay please limit your daughter's exposure to these toxic people.
    mrsljamieson

    Answer by mrsljamieson at 9:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

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