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3 Bumps

Can't take it...

At the beginning I was always afraid of our relationship turning into his parents relationship. His parents refuse to get a divorce but they have nothing to do with each other.. they dont even sleep on the same floor.. dont spend any time together.. rarely speak to one another. they do everything separately. But now its to the point where I am beginning to not care at all. Everyday I wake up.. i have it in my mind that its going to be a babd day.. because he wont get up or when he does he is going to be rude (which he gets directly from the dads hateful attitude) I feel like I will live my life and you will live yours.. whatever I am sick of caring about it. If I tell him how I feel about something and its not how he feels then he doesnt think anyone should feel that way. He thinks that its stupid and doesnt try to understand and says he doesnt care if it hurt my feelings because it shouldnt have hurt my feelings. CONT

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 10:52 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well the first thing I thought when I read this was, "Wow!! This girl has a horrible attiude!". Sweety things are not going to get better if you don't want them too. Instead of waking up in the morning thainking that the day is going to be hell and he is going to act like a complete ass, try having a better out look on things. Try having a movie night. Make some popcorn, get his favorite soda and candy and watch the movie Fireproof. Try to be affectionate and bring back the beginning butterflies. It will be hard and you will have to keep this up on your own for a little bit, he will not know how to recieve your behavior at first. Good Luck!!! You can do this and be sure to have a movie night and watch Fireproof. You remind me of the couple in this movie.
    Conley639

    Answer by Conley639 at 11:27 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Try to get him to go to counseling.. If you see it heading down as bad as his parents sound it can only get worse from here. Are you prepared to go through this your whole life? if not give him an ultimatum: Counseling or divorce. Tell him you will not live like his parents any longer and that you want more from the relationship. If he cant give that to you he doesn't deserve you.
    chanelsparkels

    Answer by chanelsparkels at 11:01 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • So walk away, if he refuse to do anything or try to change why not find someone who will love you and be there for you?
    I know easier said then done.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 11:10 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Your husband is the horse and caring is the water. You can not make him care. So cut your losses and get out while you can. Go be happy. You deserve it.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Such good advice from so many. We can only change our behavior and you DO deserve to be happy and loved. Fireproof is an excellent idea and one of you has to be the "hero" and let it be you. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
    Librarylady60

    Answer by Librarylady60 at 7:41 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • then he goes straight for below the belt. and says stuff like your crazy. call your ex yall are perfect for each other. he has said so many hurtful things.. and I have a hard time moving past the hurtful remarks. until yesterday I still was very much in love with him but we got into an arguement about him sneaking to go to a bar and him not telling me that he went until he got home.. he went straight to being hateful.. i told him whatever i dont care.. i dont really know what to do. maybe my feelings are just hurt but i honestly want to make it where we have nothing to do with each other... separate lives.. what i was so afraid of.
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 10:59 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • i am not blameless in any way. i know this but I do NOT try to hurt him the way he does me and I do at least try to understand his point of view. He doesnt even try to understand.. he just says its stupid. i cant stand his parents.. but i know he is very close to them so we spend all the time he wants to at their house and i put up with them being in our business.. his dad being rude and hateful (i am not the only person who thinks this.. my DH knows this but its just how he (his dad) is and they put up with it. I have trouble putting up with someone putting everyone down and being rude to everyone whenever he wants) i know i have faults. but i TRY to work on them. He isnt interested in trying to care about others opinions or feelings.
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 11:04 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like my ex and I'm glad I divorced him. Honestly, if he won't admit to issues or work to try to resolve them, there's only so much 1 person can do. It won't work if half of you do it alone. It may seem hard, and there will be ups and downs but you can do it on your own and be happier. Trust me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I see a lot of complaints about HIM and HIS family.. What about you? Are you blameless in this situation?
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 10:57 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

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