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You're not even trying!!

My husband has been working the late shift (getting home between 12-2:30 am) since I have known him... and it wasnt even a big deal until he said he wanted to get another job (he is currently a bartender) so he could be home with us (me, my daughter(he looks at her as his own), and we have a son on the way) but he said this like almost a year ago.. and he hasnt even applied for another job. everytime he hears about something he comes up with a reasonto not apply.. and here is the most ridiculous one yet.. i dont want to do that my whole life.. (it pays more than your current job.. has better hours.. and makes it possible to be home with your family more.. AND you dont want to do bartending your whole life either. take the job and continue to apply for your dream job) but he never does and its beginning to get frustrating.


Asked by Ross2010 at 11:13 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • my husband often has big ideas and tells me he is gonna do this or that (usually a better job or make more money for us), but yet it never materializes. I havet gotten to the point that I do not believe anything until I see it. When I ask him about it he says "oh it didn't work out" or something like that. All you can do is ask him point blank why he is not trying. It really can't hurt. Good luck, it is so very frustrating, I know!

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:37 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • He's scared of the change. He's got a job, and he's scared of failing at a new one.

    Or, he's just lazy.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Have you tried talking to him about it? I actually worked at a job I hated for 13 years. I loved (and still do) the other woman I worked with but our boss (the owner of the company) is the so awful and hard to work for. As much as I hated it, I would not go find another job. I wanted to but I wouldn't do it. Sometimes the unknown is frightening. Maybe if you discuss this with him w/o sounding like you are frustrated with him, the two of you might be able to find out at is going on and come to a solution.

    Answer by Peajewel at 7:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like he enjoys the job he has.
    Does he not want to change jobs and is only pretending to job search for your benefit? Why don't you ask him what his true intentions are.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:29 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • no he HATES his current job. he complains about it all the time.
    he loves being able to hang out pretty much all night but hates the job itself.

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 11:36 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like my ex. Complains about his job, but has been there 15 years and will NOT look for another one. He would rely on me to climb the corporate ladder and get pissed I was making more money than he was and be resentful if I got a promotion. Now that we're divorced, still does this. He was pissed I got a new job just a couple of weeks ago.

    He's either too comfortable or doesn't have confidence in himself to do anything else.

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:18 PM on Nov. 19, 2010