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Had some friends dump me while I was pregnant now suffering post depression. Do you think this could have contributed to it?

I had some best friends who I thought I was pretty close to last year. We talked every other day and did lunch quiet often. I am 38 and so are they. I tried really hard to get pregnant with this little boy and when my husband and I found out we were so excited. It's funny that my friends said they would get pregnant like me if it were not for there hysterectomies. So after I found out one of my friends said her husband said I was too old to have a baby and that it was crazy. Any how my baby is here now...I feel like my so called friend have cut me from there lives. I have seen one at least 4 times in the year. I just went to lunch with her the other day and I feel like our relationship isn't the same.She has started a face book a while ago and has not even requested me. It's funny that I am now suffering with postpartum depression. Great....Do you think that this friend thing might be contributing to it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You are not the same. Your priorities have changed and so has your availability.

    Sometimes our friends are friends for life, and sometimes they're friends for right now. The difference is that when it is no longer convenient, friends for right now drift away... Just the shift in your priorities has made it so that you're not a similar enough (to them) person to be easy to be around (for them) and Easy To Do is probably about 90% of how they make their decisions.

    No, I don't think this is contributing to your depression. Your hormones certainly are, and if you're not practicing vigilant self-care (getting enough rest throughout the day, eating excellent food, getting some fresh air and exercise every day, drinking enough clear water, etc) that effect will be amplified.

    Mostly, I think what's contributing the most is the difference between how reality with a child actually is and the Hallmark Card version of Motherhood Bliss.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:58 AM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • No, postpartum depression is physiological and friends dumping you is circumstantial depression.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I'm sorry to hear that your going through this . It could be contributed to your situation to hear upsetting things like that . I had a friend I would've considered close until I got pregnant she saw something that should couldn't have and it upset her being around me so we stop speaking, and he's 9 months old now . Sometimes when it comes to friends you have to remember what and who is important to you . At the end of the day you have your baby and your husband everyone else can kick rocks ...lol hope you get better

    waitin4u

    Answer by waitin4u at 12:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • you could be depressed because you feel they are not there for you the way they were...but you don't need them. You have your baby. Find new friends with little ones.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I had this friend problem when I became pregnant. Some one who I considered my best friend had other priorities and did not want to see each other at all once I got pregnant. It hurt me really bad, but true friends will stick by you no matter what. You can still find girl time without the children sometimes, but some people want you all to their self bc they are selfish. Your priorities are in the right place and family is the most important thing.
    meg4763

    Answer by meg4763 at 12:36 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Your life changes dramatically after a child enter it (as you have found). Rather than look back, look forward - develop new healthy friendships with other moms. Seek help for your depression - that can be debilitating.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 8:01 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

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