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How do you feel about your tween daughter wearing makeup?

My SD is 9 and she wants to wear makeup. I told her she can put makeup on to play dress up but she's not permitted to wear it in public (unless she is in a play, dance recital, etc). When I asked her why she wants to wear makeup she tells me it is because she doesn't like the way she looks and thinks she is ugly. Instinctively I tell her she's beautiful, but even I remember as a child thinking my Mom & Dad's opinion didn't matter because they 'had to say that because I was their kid'. Grant it, she's not my bio kid, but even so I don't think that answer is going to cut it. I really think we need to work on her self image and I don't think makeup is the answer. Any thoughts?


Asked by not-the-momma at 1:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • I think she's too young for make-up. I would put it to her this way: Since it's more important that we be beautiful on the inside than on the outside, let's work on that part first. Then you can proceed to find out what makes her think she's ugly and go from there. It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks of her except herself, and that is what needs to be worked on here. I think a step-mom could do that very well, perhaps even better than her real mom.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:58 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Nope, I sure don't allow that. These children are pre-teens. They are children. And we all know, they aren't children for long. I see no need to reinforce the idea that children must grow up so quickly. My daughter is allowed to wear flavored uncolored lip gloss, but nothing else until her 13th birthday - regardless of what other parents may permit.

    Answer by ihatetocook at 4:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Mine is 11 almost 12 and in 6th grade. It seems to be the age where EVERY girl starts wearing makeup around here. I personally feel it is too soon. When my daughter is 12 she can wear mascara and lip gloss with color. When she is 13, we will add in blush. She has to wait until high school for the rest. I told mine that she is a child for sucha short time and waiting for another couple years to wear makeup isn't that long compared to the LIFETIME were she will get to wear it everyday. That seemed to work.

    Answer by Alynn74 at 2:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I wouldn't be opposed to my daughter wearing (light) make up as a tween, but it would depend on her reasoning. If she wanted to wear it because she thought she was ugly or to impress a boy or to fit in, she would not be allowed. She has to know she's beautiful naturally and that make up as well as anything thing else in life should not be done to impress or fall in with others. I happen to LOVE make up and I have since I was a tween. I love to collect it, wear it, and put it on others. It's very creative and artful and if she was into it for the same reasons I would allow it.

    Answer by BaisMom at 4:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • From my DD the rule will be at 10 she can wear lip gloss with a slight color and a light blush and glitter. At 13 she can start wearing actual make up in neutral or light colors. At 16 it's all fair game. (with in reason of course!)

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:57 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • My daughter was allowed to wear make up when she entered high school. Beyond that it was only in church plays or light lip gloss.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:00 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • What about a little lip gloss only? It wears right off anyway.

    Answer by mompam at 2:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • My daughter is 9 and not allowed to wear makeup, other than lipgloss. She's generally happy with her looks, but if she wasn't I would ask her if she would like to change her clothing style, or her haircut. At 12 I plan to take her and get a makeover for her so she can see how to put on makeup with a light hand, so that it's natural looking but she won't be allowed to wear eyeshadow or liner until highschool. Just powder, blush, mascara.

    Answer by missanc at 2:13 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Why don't you let her wear a bit of lip gloss and some powder, anything in moderation is good.

    Answer by older at 5:09 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I agree with several other ladies' comments....first, find out what the reason is that she thinks she's ugly...try to change that first, if possible....maybe let her change her clothing style a little, or a haircut too can help with how someone feels...makes you feel like a new person. My daughter (11 now) was about 8 when kids started making fun of her because she had really crooked teeth. I realize some people can't afford it....and I was blessed enough that my parents paid for them....but we got her braces, and that made her feel 100% better about herself. We also talked about not worrying so much about magazines and what other people think defines beauty BEFORE we did the braces. Maybe too, if you let her wear a little lip gloss, so glittery powder, it would give her a little boost, but explain that makeup isn't the ONLY thing that makes you pretty! :)

    Answer by cnice1976 at 8:09 PM on Nov. 19, 2010