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My sd has started playing gigs.

That's great with us except one thing. Her mom books them on our weekends with her instead of on her own time. She also makes doctor appointments and schedules sleepovers. Any thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (8)
  • Dad needs to coimmunicate with Mom that HE will do his own scheduling on HIS weekend. If she can't comply take it to the judge.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:46 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I'd say that's between the dad and the mother, but I think that your time is your time, and she should make her things durring her weekends. It's so hecktic to have one little person stir up a whole household. My SS and his mom does those things in our home, and it's so stressful. You wouldn't think that one person could have so much stress on so many peoples lives but that's how it goes sometimes.

    Answer by b_stotka at 3:48 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • congrats though! So glad she does so well.

    Answer by b_stotka at 3:49 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • It's inconsiderate of the mom to schedule things without consulting your schedule if it is on your weekend. I don't think it's reasonable to ask that nothing be scheduled on your weekends with sd, only because life can't just stop for her because it is your weekend and it is also fair to help out with things like doctors appointments here and there. But you shouldn't always have to take her to the doctor or have something planned every weekend that she is with you as you already have limited time with her. I would just ask her mom that you be given a quick call or email if something is in the works to be scheduled to be sure that works for you on your weekends. I think that is completely fair.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:51 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • She does very well! She's only 12, has an amazing voice and flatpicks...writes her own songs, too! We are glad for's just frustrating for her mom to tell us this stuff. I feel as if her mom is just trying to make it about my husband and should be telling us at least instead of her mom! Or asking if it's ok, not telling us how it is.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I'd pull out the court papers.. and take her to court if I were the father. She needs to do these things on her own time.. or allow for you to take her to her gigs.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:52 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • She needs to consult with your husband before scheduling things on your time. We have 50-50 with my SD, and we went through this with her where her mom would have our half of the week with her booked up with things she thought we needed to be running SD to regardless of our plans. Sometimes it was compatible with our plans, but sometimes it was not. DH just told her very firmly that if SD wants to do something on one of our days, SD needs to talk to him about and schedule it with him not with her mom. Sometimes if we can't make it or get her there, we'll switch days with her mom so she can do something that is important to her. But we need more notice than telling us when she drops her off about things we are supposed to run her to the next day, so now SD talks to DH about making any plans on his time when they are made.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:45 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Well if there are court custody arrangements, she legally has to stick with them. If this upsets you this much get a lawyer and straighten her out.

    Answer by salexander at 10:24 AM on Nov. 22, 2010

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