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Is my husband the only one that does this?

As some of you already know, my husband cheated on me last year and I haven't gotten over it as of yet. It's been a very rough ride and I still don't know if I should be here or not but anyhow, when he thinks I'm annoying him or bothering him with my "bitching" he'll throw divorce at me. In the past I've coward down but when I have and now that I do it all the time, stand up and say "okay, let's do it...get the fuck out" all of a sudden he back tracks and it doesn't seem like such a good idea to him anymore.


Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 4:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • No, sorry. Divorce isn't something to "throw around". It's very harmful to threaten with the 'D' word.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:28 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • because he didnt want his bluff called :p its a human thing i think

    Answer by pookipoo at 4:27 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • No.. Even after he cheated on me and we were still recovering/reconciling ( which took a few years, and LOTS of work and dedication on BOTH of our parts) he never threw divorce at me, and I never threw it at him.

    Divorce for us was/is not something that is just tossed out as a threat when one of us is angry or defensive.

    May I ask.... Since you & your husband have decided to reconcile, what all steps are the two of you taking together to rebuild your marriage?

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:28 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • that's a very immature thing to say, especially for someone who f*cked up and is trying to redeem themselves and their marriage. playing the divorce card is treading in dangerous territory.

    Answer by tnm786 at 4:30 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • that is certainly NOT a word that should be thrown around - I think maybe you should take him up on it - really. It sounds like besides cheating on you, he really doesn't say the nicest things or treat you well ALSO..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:28 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Pixie__trix I don't know where to even begin...I can't get the images out of my head and when ever he does something stupid or won't do something with me that I know he made time to do with her, my blood just boils. I can't trust him and don't know if I ever will and he just expect me to "get over it, it's been over a year..."

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 4:31 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • My ex SIL always said that to my brother and finally he said ok, lets do it and he filed for divorce. She was shocked and pissed but they did get divorced and I think they are both happier now with their new spouses.

    Answer by tony1638 at 4:32 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • i meant the backtracking after calling his bluff was a human thing, not what he was backtracking about... him throwing divorce around like that is very manipulative

    Answer by pookipoo at 4:33 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Have you guys started any sort of counselling, couple & Individual?

    How about books, support groups, workshops.. together and individual?

    From my personal experience, and the experiences of friends who have also gone through infidelity. Those who decided to reconcicle..There are many steps, and actions that a couple must take in order to rebuild their marriage. After infidelity, a marriage has to be completely rebuilt from foundation up. Trust is a base foundation of a relationship. With that gone, there is no foundation to build a relationship on or to keep one together. So, a couple has to completely rebuild their relationship.

    His "get over it it's been a year" is a very unrealistic expecation. An unhelpful one. And will never solve the issues in your marriage. Both the ones from before he cheated, and the ones caused BY his cheating. Rebuilding and recovering takes a lot of work, lot of dedication & TIME..

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:36 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • No, for us divorce really isn't something to just throw around.

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2010