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Deadbeat dad (vent)

The father of my twins (8 yrs) has taken me to court over custody. Since they were born, he has only seen them at most a dozen times and hasn't had them overnight in 5 years. He has not been current on child support in all this time, in fact he has not made a full payment in over 2 years. He tells my kids that I won't allow him to have visitation and this has caused alot of behavior problems in one of them to the point that he had cps called at school because he was convinced he'd have everything he wants if he lived with his dad. He doesn't even call on their bday or want them fathers day or holidays. Frustrating!

 
sweet29mom

Asked by sweet29mom at 4:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,093 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • This is what I can say, from coming from a similar situation. When I got older my dad would try to tell the same lies, I realized that my mom was the only one there, and even if she tried to keep me away, it was either for good reason, or he didn't try hard enough. Your kids will eventually learn the truth. And as long as you continue to love them they will love you too. It's natural for kids to blame the one that stays, because we know you won't go anywhere, but we are afraid to lose the one who keeps leaving because they may leave for good. A therapist told me that once.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:51 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • He does not stand a chance for custody!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 4:48 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I think you have the upper hand in this...good luck and hoping the best for your kids
    Raindew

    Answer by Raindew at 4:51 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I let my kids think I took them away from their dad and wouldn't let him see them. I think that they can deal with that better than the hurt of rejection. They are grown now and doing fine. They finally got to spend time with him as adults and found out the truth...he's a jerk and cares about no one but himself. I think I made the right choice. I'd rather them be angry with me than to be hurt knowing he didn't care about them. Contact CS and push for that money. I'm just now getting mine and my kids are in their 30's
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:37 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • That would be very frustrating!! Does their dad live in teh same town as you or nearby?
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:46 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Get a good lawyer and go from there. If he cant pay then he shouldnt have the privelage of being a father. Id consider letting your kids talk to a concelor too. I think theyd benefit from it considering how much of an affect the has on them GL and best wishes
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:47 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • He lives in a different state, 100 miles away, but works less than 50 miles from my house.
    sweet29mom

    Comment by sweet29mom (original poster) at 4:47 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • tell the judge what he tells your kids. also tell him to be careful what he wishes for :p
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 4:47 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • counselor*
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:48 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Domonique I agree with what the counselor told you it makes alot of sense!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:56 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

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