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If you had a family member who was constantly asking for favors...

and they didn't get you anything for your birthday,would you be upset? It hasn't happened yet,but I suspect it will. My mom asks favors of me on an almost daily basis. I do them.She hasn't asked me about what I'd like,and my birthday is Thursday. She's the type of person that takes takes takes,and figures she doesn't have to show gratitude. She does this to everyone. I know I should probably give up hope,but its my MOM,you know what I mean??

 
butterflyblue19

Asked by butterflyblue19 at 5:00 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Now I don't feel so bad!
    My own mother is exactly like this!!!
    She is an alcoholic though and that's her excuse.
    I've picked her up from jobs she's been fired from, loaned her money, offered to have her work for me so she could earn
    money and she's forgot to wish me Happy Birthday at least 2 times..
    ANY time I ask her for a favor it's too much for her to handle.
    When I was hemorraging after my cancer operation she wouldn't take me to the hospital and wanted
    my abusive b/f to come and get me from work.
    Now, she's shot me down for visiting me for Thanksgiving....even though I offered to drive to come get her and take her
    back home.
    I'm thinking I'm just done trying to be her daughter...I NEED healthy relationships in my life...not this b.s.
    And so do you!
    Remember you're not alone!
    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 5:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I don't do favors because I expect something in return. If I choose to do a favor for someone, it has nothing to do with things like getting a gift. I really don't see why these two things are even tied together in this question.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:06 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • The gift shouldn't be the issue and neither should if she has money for subway or anything else be the issue. She asks favors, you choose to help. Then you resent that she doesn't spend her money on you?
    ihatetocook

    Answer by ihatetocook at 6:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • How she spends her money is none of your business. If you want to do favors for her, that's fine. If you don't, that's fine too. If you want to do favors for someone who doesn't bother giving a damn about you, then YOU'd better look in a mirror and dig deep and figure out why. But whatever you decide to do is ON YOU - not on her.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 6:49 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • i have been in this situation with my sister for years. AND i have just been honest with her. I dont feel appreciated when im constantly helping out and when i need it she is too busy or doesnt have money. REally you just bought a friggn mc donalds meal for 10 bucks but you couldnt give me a bit of gas for being nice and driving your butt 45 mins to the DR and back?!
    chanelsparkels

    Answer by chanelsparkels at 5:07 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I would at least hint it or plain out say it. "i always do things for you, could you at least return the favor?" my sister used to take advantage of me just because i was a stay at home mom, i would babysit her kids for free while she worked. i guess i had nothing else better to do according to her in her mind. These days, i plain out let her know..."what do i get in return for babysitting your kids?" after she asks me to babysit them.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 5:14 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I do, and I help without expecting anything in return.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I'd just like acknowledgement twice a year. My birthday and Christmas.
    butterflyblue19

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 5:04 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • The gift should not be the issue. The appreciation should. If you dont feel appreciated then tell her. Let her know that you love helping her and it means a lot to you but you feel sometimes that she doesnt show gratitude for all of your help. IF its minor things then let it go but if it bothers you that bad then bring it up. Maybe the next time she needs a favor you can tell her that you're sorry and that you cant cause youre busy. IF she gives you shit then tell her then. She prob doesnt realize shes doing it. GL def a tough one
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:07 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • She apparently has $ for Subway. That's tomorrow's favor,to pick her up an $8 sub when i go to Walmart. When my birthday comes she'll claim she's broke. Last year I didn't even get a card,and she called me 3 days later to ask a favor,and then said oh yeah,it was your birthday.
    butterflyblue19

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2010