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When you found out your husband was having an affair

what extreme measures did you take to get info on him and/or on the women and the situation?

Did you confront the women?

If you did confront the women, was it effective enough to get her to leave him the f*ck alone?

If yes, what were your methods? Share...


Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 5:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • well my husband had an emotional affair, while i was pregnant and he was overseas. he was exchanging emails with his ex from high school (my arch enemy) that were not so appropriate. i found out because he was stupid enough to give me the password to check something for him and not delete his emails. call me insecure if you'd like but i dont know many females who wouldn't search thru emails if given the opportunity. unfortunately i discovered it while he was home on r&r. and the kicker? the bitch is married herself to his ex best friend and has two kids with the guy. she knew damn well i was carrying his child. i forwarded the emails to her husband's account, she never emailed him again after that. i also told my husband i can raise this baby alone if he can't handle being "tied down" to a family and left him for a few days. he came back and we worked things out. this was almost three years ago.

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:48 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • and tnm... I LOVE how you forwared the emails to her husband! Hope I never have to go through any of this but that is awesome and Id have to do the same! Good goin girl!

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:09 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Okay...this question is for women that have had husbands that have had affairs and they found out not for those whose husbands have never had affairs.

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 5:48 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Why confront her? He's the one who went to her.. Confront him.. She isn't going to stop sleeping with your husband because you tell her to.. If she knows her is married, obviously what you think doesn't matter to her..

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 5:48 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I am sorry you are going through that, I have not experienced it. I think you have a right to be so angry with this woman. I think I would want to know every detail down to her toothpaste brand too if that happened. But my advice to you is that you have to remember it takes two to how do you get him to leave her alone is the better question I think. And do you stay with this person?

    Answer by spottedpony at 5:49 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • *he*, not her.. sorry

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 5:49 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Oh...I confronted him alright and I confronted her...scared the shit out of her to the point where she did stop seeing him.

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • If you didnt scare her do youthink he would have stopped seeing her? just curious

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:08 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • first no but then he had started to back away from her and she's the one that continued calling him, especially when she knew he was with me.

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • This was my personal experience.

    I found out about my husband cheating when he came home and confessed that he had done just that. As far as information about who/when/how, I found those things out that night. Details (that I now will admit were pointless to know, and had more to do with my ego than the issues had hand, and caused more questions than they gave answers) came out over time. Through discussions, therapy etc. The details that came out over time.

    I never had anything to do with the OW, even though I knew exactly who she was and where to find her. She was of no concern or consequence to me. My husband made the choice to cheat on me. Period. No matter what she may have done or not done, the choice to take her up on anything was his. I had no reason to talk to her, hell I had no reason to even look at her. I couldn't think of a reason why I would want or need to talk to her.

    Cont.. Below

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2010