Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How has your weight affected your relationships?

I can't seem to keep a lifestyle-change with my weight loss. I will go into a pattern where I lose 15lbs and then gain them back once I notice the change because I feel confident/comfortable again to eat.

This has really messed with my confidence level, especially my relationship wiht DH since I don't feel sexy or good enough to try kinky positions to keep him interested. In the long run, I just see him being unfaithful if I keep this up

Have any of you had weight affect relationship with your partner? What has been something to help keep the motivations going? Any help or advice helps.


Asked by simpleesr23 at 5:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (530 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • i totally relate i dont have sex w the lights on and my shirt stays on unless he takes it off my bf always tells me im beautiful and sexy but i dont feel tht way about myself and it affects the relationship.

    Answer by Logan17000 at 11:10 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • When I met my future husband (just friends), I weighed 260 pounds. I lost 130 pounds over the next two years. We got married, and I probably weighed 120 at the time. I got pregnant a year later and ballooned up to 200. I had the kid and lost the baby weight within 18 months and went down to 110 because I was running around like a freak all day chasing the kid. I got pregnant again, and went back up to 210. Had the kid and lost the weight in 2 years, getting back down to 130 again. Now, I'm 41 and pregnant again (super-surprise baby) and I've gotten up to 168 at 20 weeks and I fully expect to be 200 when I have this kid.
    My point is, there have been times when my weight has gotten in the way of a fully communicative relationship, because I was insecure. My husband has always stayed the same towards me because he's seen me at virtually every weight possible and knows it's still me in there, and that's who he loves.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:51 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • When I first met my SO I had lost a great amount of weight was actually right where I always dreamed. I was confident and we had a great sex life. After I had my son I was less confident and awkward in the bed because I didn'twant to move the wrong way and my stomach look big. I go to the gym now and even though I haven't lost any weight I feel so good about my body. I feel empowered.


    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 6:01 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Hubby and I are equally out of shape, so we are fine together.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 6:04 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • no my weight doesn't affect our relationship.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 6:06 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I guess I might add that I'm extra sensitive because I'm about 5'1 weighing 195lbs and DH is 5'9 weighing 150lbs

    Comment by simpleesr23 (original poster) at 6:07 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I'm overweight and it bothered me when I first met SO bc he's active duty military and in excellent shape. He says it doesn't bother him so I'm not going to worry about it. If I can get weight off it's for my health, not for him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • We've gained weight in equal proportion so it has had no effect. In fact our sex life is better than ever and I am eager to try new things all the time.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • We've gained weight in equal proportion so it has had no effect. In fact our sex life is better than ever and I am eager to try new things all the time.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I'm 4'7, was always chubby, but kept my weight in the "cute chubby girl " range
    When I met DF I was single and having fun, had lots of guys interest, so I was confident.
    I got pregnant right away and ballooned, gained 60+ the end of my pregnancy I was 200lbs and TERRIBLY self coscious.
    It's been a little over 2 years now ( 3 yrs in July) that we've been together and I'm 24 wks pregnant and gaining again!!
    Might I add, I only lost maybe 20 pounds max!
    So I'm pretty low lately and feeling pretty shitty about myself!
    DF says he's not out to find anything else, and loves me ..doesnt wanna be with anyone else etc...but I feel like he's se ttled due to circumstances, and I feel even lower when he looks and gawks and worst of all comments on skinnier more attractive women .
    ( Afterall I am the first and ONLY "fuller" woman he's ever been with) Previously they all fit the short, skinny, average looking mold.

    Answer by AshleyRoseG at 1:11 AM on Nov. 20, 2010