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Would you allow your 13 year to call you by your first name?

My SO lets his 13 year old son do this all of time and irks me! The child lives with his grandmother 90% of the time and calls her "grandma", I have no clue what he calls his mother when he is with her. This child has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication and sees therapists and doctors regularly (not that that has anything to do with this specific topic). I hear how he cusses at his father and puts him down and calls him names all the time (he has no respect for his father). So just lets him act like an ass which just perpetuates the behavior. It's obvious he has no respect for his father and acts as if he's a grown up! I would never allow our son to call either of us by our names! It is a form of respect for your elders, for a child to call mom, mommy, etc. and dad, daddy etc. I have told SO that enforcing this would be a good start at establishing some respectful behavior from this child.


Asked by truthteller0722 at 9:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 19 (6,797 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • It depends on the reason behind wanting to call me by my first name. If he can come up with a VALID argument, then I would consider it. I don't see that happening, but who knows.

    If it was a question of respect, that wouldn't fly with me either.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:42 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I agree w/ you! That boy needs to find out what respect & boundaries are all about! He's at that age where it will only get worse if it's not nipped right now. Having the ADHD is no excuse for this behavior. Dad needs to grow a pair & put his foot down. He's his dad not his friend. It's time to show it & act like it. Good luck

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • if hes doing it be an asshole i understand what your saying. but i call my mom by her first name often just because, its her name. i always have done this. not to be disrespectful but my mom never treated me like i was below her and had to respect her like she was a boss at work or something so i was never afraid to call her by her first name. my children will be me equals. obviously i have to give them certain rules and such, but making a big deal if they call me by my first name is just silly and controling.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:44 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I agree I was raised that calling your parents by their first name is a sign of disrespect. It puts your child on the same level as the adult. I know my parents as children had to call their parents sir and mam.


    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 9:50 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • no, i feel like thats very disrespectful

    Answer by kittykatt317 at 9:55 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else it is disrespectful. My sil lets her kids do that. Never understood it.

    Answer by arenad at 10:12 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • No and blaming the ADHD is wrong. My 14 yr old son is ADHD and he doesn't act that way towards me. Your SO's son acts the way he does because he is allowed to and for NO other reason. His PARENTS made the monster and now they have to deal with it.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:19 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I was born in the 60's to young parents so I called my father by his first name until the early 80" when it suddenly wasn't "cool" with him any more (LOL). What's in a name, a rose by anyother name would still smell as sweet, however using it as a form of punishment and disrespect is the real issue if son does not want to call him Dad then he can call him Sir or Mr. or any other title with respect.

    Answer by mrsljamieson at 1:25 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Meh, I wouldn't encourage it, but I don't think it would bother me to much. But, I think our family is different than most families because I have a grandmother who makes us call her by her first name so no one knows her age - She doesn't want people to know she's old enough to have grandkids my age... So, I guess I don't see it as a disrespect thing the way most do... My DH on the other hand has REAL issues with it... But it wouldn't bother me to much.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:51 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • No it is disrespectful

    Answer by chanelsparkels at 12:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2010