Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Babies won't play with my baby

Ok I know this sounds silly, but my DD is 9 months old, walking, and interacting with others. I go to the gym sometimes and I've never left her at daycare ever except for the gym. I stayed with her for about 10 minutes (she's been there twice now) and a little girl who was about 18 months yelled "stop"when she was walking up to her to play. I kind of thought that was rude, but whatever I redirected my baby to play with a boy more her age. That boy wanted nothing to do with her either. He just wanted to play with his truck. My baby wanted to play with him and followed him around. I know babies "parallel play" at this age, but how do I encourage her to stay social when other babies ignore her? Or am I just overreacting? I felt really sad that she was so eager to meet other babies when they either yelled stop or ignored her.

Answer Question
 
MsYoung655

Asked by MsYoung655 at 11:19 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • the 18 month old was exhibiting completely normal toddler behavior. They can be irrational and rude sometimes -- again, completely normal!!! In about another six-nine months or so you'll see what I'm talking about.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 11:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • anony-mous

    Answer by anony-mous at 11:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • You're right about the parallel playing. At those ages they really don't know how to play together. I always felt the same way with my kids who were really friendly and gentle, but the other kids wanted to just plow them over and be wild. Maybe you can join a moms group and go to playdates with babies close to her age? That way you can encourage the babies to play together and be right there with them.
    lish2127

    Answer by lish2127 at 11:26 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • The 18 month old's behavior was not the question. I'm obviously not all that concerned with other people's children. I'm more concerned about my daughter. How do I help nurture her talents? I don't want her to think all kids are mean and ignore her.
    MsYoung655

    Comment by MsYoung655 (original poster) at 11:28 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • I think this is bothering mom more then your baby. I feel sad for her too. Yet I am sure she will be fine in the social setting, she already seems to be. The other day, I was at a class . They really have no toys for the kids. So the kids were playing under the table. Except this one little girl. My daughter goes to her chair , And she starts yelling get away from me. I thought the girl was rude and it made me angry. However my daughter did not seem to mind at all. She left her and went on with what she was doing. I hope it helps alittle.

    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 11:28 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • Kileighs mommie that does help. I almost cried. I want her to feel like other kids are nice and not feel like an outsider. My dd has a really big heart and is very friendly with everyone. I want her to keep being that way and not get discouraged. I just feel bad about her being ignored. I take her there so she can have positive experiences with other children, but every time we've been the kids her age just ignore her.
    MsYoung655

    Comment by MsYoung655 (original poster) at 11:33 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • She doesnt have the capacity yet to interact on the level you are thinking about. She doesnt have the ability to decide "so & so is mean because they dont play with me". Kids her age ignore her because they are her age. That is what kids that age DO. Its natural. Your kid cant feel "bad" or "offended" like you can if a person YOUR age did that. It doesnt register yet for them. Interaction at this age is waaay different then interaction between, say, kids who are 3 or 4 years old. I think it would benefit you to read up a bit on the aspects of peer interaction at different ages...what it means to the child & what to expect in terms of behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • don't worry so much about it. she is only 9 months. i agree with the anonymous. my little girl is in daycare and all she says is mine mine. and she has changed so much from this little sweet baby one time. the daycare provider told me. she will be fine. don't worry so much. just keep taking her there. she will be fine. they are so curious about the world at that age. its good for them to learn about allsorts of things and people and places. just keep doing what you are doing. she will be fine.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:27 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • My DD is the same way. She will walk right up to kids and if they walk away or dont want to play, she justs moves on to the next one.
    Your DD doesnt know that they are ignoring her. But if you flip, or cry, then she might stop. Just let her do her thing, she is learning and growing...
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Its normal for kids in between 18 months and 36 months to be geered more toward older kids and self play. They dont want to play with younger kids becuase they have just gotten out of being a baby and want to be big kids. Your daughter isnt doing anything wrong its just typical of toddlers.
    ashes_leigh

    Answer by ashes_leigh at 3:23 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN