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I'm going to introduce spanking to my daughter, but how can I explain to her how it will feel before it actually happens the first time?

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Asked by lovinghand at 11:42 PM on Nov. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • How old is she? I never found a reason to explain it to my kids, they figured it out all by themselves!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • If you can avoid it at all then please do so. A child will not understand why they are being struck. And experts and studies will tell you that it provokes fear in a child and leads to problems down the road. If spanking worked, parents would do it one time and never have to do it again. But it doesn't work, and that's why once its started its a never ending cycle. Do time-out in an effective way or take something away.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:46 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • she is seven. Sweetlovofmine the studies that show those kind of negative side effects are done on families that do not practice safe spanking. Those families studied are parents that yell at their children while spanking them and they give no reason as to why before hand. Their spanking is cold and malice, which is totally detected from love or kindness as a parenting tool. Its an unfair observation done by many researchers who fail to take the time and follow true loving parents in spanking. A loving spanking is this: 1) the parent easily speaks to the child about their misbehavior 2) the parent allows time for the child to share their feelings and thoughts on what happened to cause such undesirable behavior 3) both parent and child come up with ideas on how to avoid the negative behavior in the future 4) the parent reassures child of their love for them 5) the spanking happens 6) the parent assures them they are loved.

    Comment by lovinghand (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

  • SweetLOVEOF MINE>.. I got my ass beat all the time for different things of course and I turned out wonderfully! I respect my parents and I am sure your parents did the same to you, most parents did back then now everyone is scared to do it. I will tell you some kids now a day need a good ass kicking cause there behavior is beyond horrible. YOur time out method may work now but what are you going to do when there older? They will walk all over you. Time outs don't work cause you use them over and over too, but atleast with a spanking they stop doing whatever you didn't want them to do..

    Answer by Claudiomom at 12:04 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • My sons are 24 & 20, I paddled when was extremely necessary ie. running in the middle of street, fingers in the plug-ins etc. so I believe as long as you love your children and don't belittle them with words, light spanking is o.k. My sons turned out awesome and we have a great relationship!

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:15 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I don't really know why you'd need to explain to her how it's going to feel. Just explain to her what is going to happen. She'll figure out how it feels after the first time.

    Answer by montanagal2005 at 12:23 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • NO need to explain. Just say..."why did you spit on your brother?" "Ok well you know you are not supposed to spit on your brother so I'm going to swat your behind now."

    Afterwards tell her you love her and do not enjoy having to spank her but it's important that she learn to do as she knows she should.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • There is a big difference in beating a child and spanking. Beating a child is when you take some unknown anger out on the child and spanking is when correct with love when they are displaying unacceptable behavior. You don't explain to them how it is going to feel just do it. After spanking remind them of why they got the spanking and make them tell you why and how they can avoid it next time. Some kids only need one spanking to know that they don't ever want to do anything to get another spanking.

    Answer by nikdj3 at 1:26 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

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