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Being closer with dh

Dh and I for some time now haven't been all lovey dovey. We've had a lot of in-law stress and a lot of financial stress to say the least. It's put a strain on our marriage. There have been a lot of major disapointments and upsets in our marriage. We started out with literally nothing and have had to do without a lot. Along the way there was pointing of fingers at each other, threats to leave, and a seperation 2 times. One was 5 months, the other a few days. Since having 2 kids we haven't left, but continue to have a lot of stress. It fuels our arguements. Money is by far the number one thing we argue about. We have stopped acting like a married couple at all. Its more like roommates. How do I get him to understand how important it is to me that we get back on track? I've tried telling him, but he uses excuses like,"Well you don't give me a chance because you're always arguing" or "I work all day and am tired" or "We don't have the money" . It's at a point that I don't think it matters to him.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • With my DH and I , money doesn't come first, we do. No matter how broke we may be that month, or that week, no matter how busy we are... We always find time each day to spend with each other. Even if it's on the couch or going to run errands.

    When you're together, try holding his hand a little more. Instead of starting an argument, just kiss him. When he goes to start an argument (no matter who's right or wrong) Just tell him you're sorry, you'll try better and kiss him and hug him. Sometimes when it comes to fighting, you just have to put your tail between your legs and just take one for your relationship (he should do the same, not just you). One night when you're cooking, ask him for his help. Just pretend to need him for a little while. When he's taking a shower, just go with him. It'll give you some intimate time together and some alone time for just you two. When you're in the car, hold his hand.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 12:34 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • (didn't have enough room). Just try some small stuff to get that flame going again. In the end, if it doesn't work, at least you tried and ultimately you didn't give up.

    Good luck to you and I wish you all the happiness!!

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 12:34 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • My husband and I have done the book "The Love Dare" and found it really helpful.

    Answer by mommytoJames512 at 12:35 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • What's that book about

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:40 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • if u dont have the money u could go to a local church and the pastor could provide counseling for a small cost or maybe free.

    Answer by maya123 at 2:32 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • my hubby and i have been trying to tak through our problems now. instead of looking at an arguement as 'you verses me' we are now looking at our prolems as 'the problem verses us' this mentality has helped us alot, and we try to do little things for each other, like holding hands, and txting during the day just to say 'i love you' or 'i miss you' and we always laugh and joke around together, and time as he walks in the door everyday, either he comes to me to get a kiss or i go to him to get a kiss, but thats the first thing we do when he gets home, just a peck, but it makes us both smile.

    Answer by kmjsmommy12345 at 11:22 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

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