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A question For All my Relationship Veterans!

At some point in a long term relationship does the romance seems to leave? I know I love my partner, but I no longer cuddle, kiss, I sometimes sleep on the couch and have no sex drive . I mean... it feels like a business deal and he really annoys me sometimes, which I think turns me off. But, I think about our future together and our family. I just don't won't to live forever like this and hoping this is just a stage couples go through.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:28 AM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Relationships have there ups and downs. When was the last time you had couple time, or had a change from the usual routine. I know during stressful time I really don't want to be around him, but we are in a relationship and I know that this to will change back to the wonderful relationship that I know we have.
    And when was the last time you two had a heart to heart? If the two of you can't talk then it makes it hard to deal with you life together.

    Relationship do take work, sometimes more then others times. GL

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 7:41 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Regular sex in a relationship is very important because the physical intimacy keeps the emotional intimacy alive.  If you are having problems with your sex drive then you should see a doctor.


    Answer by beeky at 8:29 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I've been with my current DH for 8 years, and that has never happened. I think all relationships go through their ups and downs - but it sounds like this is beyond down. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Do you get any couple time or does the world revolve around the kids and their activities?

    Answer by Scuba at 8:47 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I agree with the others. They all have ups and downs. As far as the sex drive talk to your Dr. I have the same problem and have an app. next week. I have still been doing it just to keep him happy. If ya'll aren't having sex at all that might be the one cause behind how he is acting. Good luck!!!

    Answer by arenad at 9:00 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I think it takes work to keep things going. You have to have a regular set of things you enjoy doing together and just have fun doing them together. That might mean letting go of annoyong things and just laughijg together. Also a rich sexual life is very bonding and can bring about intimacy. As PP said, a heart to heart talk helps. One where you are both candid with each other and really reach to understand the other from the inside out. I know it seems dumb but I watch sitcoms and tv shows with my DH. It is something he enjoys very much an so do I. We laugh and just sit near each other.

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:36 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • It doesn't leave, it just settles down. Flare it back up if you want more.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Relationships ebb and flow, just like the tide. And relationships also take time, care, attention and effort .. we wouldn't expect our plants to grow if neglected, would we? we wouldn't expect our children to thrive if neglected, right? Our relationships are no different. They will go through ups and downs, and we must nurture what we want to grow and thrive and succeed.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 1:09 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • @Scuba: Its been a while since we had some one on one time especially since we are on a strict budget. And yes, most activities revolve around the kids and everyday house duties. @beeky: It didn't really think about physical intimacy building emotional intimacy I always figured it to be the other way around. As far as seeing a Dr. I don't know... maybe.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:37 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • i was in a relationship where the guy wanted sex everyday and as much as possible during that day! im not like that especially after having a child come out of my va-jay-jay with the biggest head they've seen on a 7 pound 11 ounce baby.....he wasnt gettin it when he wanted so my guess is he found it somewhere else.....

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 2:19 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

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