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How do I compete with a parent that spends money of there child?

My oldest bio-dad that she just meet about a month to 2 ago, is always spending money on her. I can't compete with that. We barely are able to pay our bills. I have cut done of everything and only have what we need.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I am in the exact same boat. I don't have money but I have a lot of time to spend. My son is starting to realize that his dad is mostly talk and money but that they don't spend any "real" time together. I get the satisfaction of knowing that I'm a loving, caring, fun mom even if I am broke. It may take awhile but she'll figure it out eventually. Oh, and whenever my son asks for something expensive I just tell him to ask his dad since he has so much money!!!


    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:35 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You do not compete. You have given your LO a home and love and stability. If he comes in offering material things let it be. Hopefully he pays the child support that he should be and should have been and you are able to provide her what she needs.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:33 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Money does not equal love. Let him spend the money if it makes him feel good. You can spend quality time with her, playing games, doing arts & crafts, not sure what age she is, but those quality moments are what she'll appreciate the most.

    Answer by momov4kids at 10:34 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • What?

    Answer by DMac08 at 10:32 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • you should explain to her on her level that money doesnt buy happiness. he should stop trying to buy her love.

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:32 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You don't. You just do what have been doing. Being the loving, supportive, caretaker, and  mother.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 10:52 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You need to talk to HIM and say that he can't be doing that. That it's teaching her a bad lesson as well as making it hard on you to teach her about the value of a dollar, etc. Then talk to her about how those gifts aren't real affection, real attention, etc. That he should really step up and be a real father to her rather then buy her things. It's not a compitition though. You shouldn't compete with that. You should be teaching her real values and lessons.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:02 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Usually people who are spending bags full of money on children are trying to prove something. It's not done out of love. I actually think it's the opposite. Because it's like "Ooh, look at what I can do for you and your mom can't !" Why would you do that to a child you love? If he has all this money and wants to help, he should kick in on some bills or something of some importance. Nothing says love like keeping the lights and heat on!

    Answer by mamax4our at 11:16 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You don't NEED to compete with that. Every parent provides everythings they can. If he is able to afford to spend money on your daughter, you should be happy for her because she gets things she wouldn't be able to have otherwise.

    Answer by mygirlpaige at 10:50 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • It's not a competition. Be thankful that he is spending money on her. Kids get excited about presents, but the one who takes care of them is always the one they are closest to.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 10:54 AM on Nov. 20, 2010