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STBX is being an a**hole

We separated last december. On Wednesday, I told him that I was ready to sign the divorce papers. He flipped out, I guess he's only been playing nice because he didn't think I was really going to divorce him, I've been trying to get along with him for our son... Since I told him that I wanted the divorce to be final he's been texting me horribly mean things constantly. IDk what to do, I can't get a restraining order unless it's threatening (it's not, just mean) and I really need him to grow up and act like an adult, for our son's sake. How should I handle this? I've tried saying that I still care, and I understand he's hurt and angry but please try and put ds first in all of this... He just comes back with something even meaner, oh and now he's making the holidays hell, we had an agreement, but he's backing out. Help?

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Asked by gypsymama532 at 10:38 AM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,932 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I'm trying :P I've only responded once. He's just intent on making the holidays hell as well as the rest of the divorce, how do I make him understand that this doesn't have to be WWIII?

    Comment by gypsymama532 (original poster) at 10:48 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Just delete them without reading them if blocking him isn't an option. He's a wounded animal but don't give him false hope by telling him you care again. You don't have to discuss anything personal with him. Just file the papers and sign them. He'll settle down. Mine acted up too. They try that anger thing to manipulate you in to giving him what he wants. It's about what you want so ignore his childish behavior. Once he calms down he'll go back to being a dad to ds.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:49 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You can't make him understand anything when he's angry. Let the dust settle. He can make the holidays hell but work around him. I tell my daughters to never depend on an ex, plan your holiday with what you can contribute. It's not about material things anyway. As for the divorce, there isn't much he can do. He has to pay CS. If you have not lived with him in almost a year there can't be too many material things to split. So what else can he do?

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:51 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Don't read the texts if they hurt your feelings...

    Answer by Dark-N-Prego at 10:56 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You need to save EVERY text, email, and record every phone call that he sends you. Then you need to contact a lawyer, whether court appointed or paid for, and you need to get legal advice. You need to file for a divorce, custody, and him to pay child support. If he's not going to cooperate then you just need to go on and handle it yourself. There's not going to be any reasoning with him, especially if he's angry. He has chosen to be a child about it, so be the bigger person and handle the legals yourself. Don't respond to his texts in any way, especially if they're mean. The more you feed into it in the manner that he's acting, the more he has against you. So just keep calm and reserved and handle the legal side with your lawyer.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:59 AM on Nov. 20, 2010

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