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14 Bumps

Why?

Do parents think that because their kids are adults, they must stop the parenting and kick them out? I have been the pillar of support for my adult kids when they were young and will continue to be this until the day I die! If they need to move in with me for whatever reason, my doors are always open, a few rules to follow and we are set. Why is this so difficult for some?

 
older

Asked by older at 12:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (42)
  • I'm with you Momma - mine are grown - the oldest has moved in and out quite a few times and then he did something so terrible that I have to not let him live with me again. At least not for a long, long time,until he has grown up and learned how to properly treat people (including NOT being violent). But until that time, yes, I was the same - and am still that same way with my youngest, if he needs to move home, the door is always open. I am their mom until I die. I won't enable or reward bad behavior,but I will be there when they need me.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 12:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Family is family.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't kick them out and stop caring.. I would just help them stand on their own feet. When they're adults I will expect them to find a job and if they don't want to move out, they would have to help around the house. They would have to pay their own phone bills and help with housework.
    If they want to move out, it's of course their choice. I would let them know they can always count on me financially and in any other way.
    mygirlpaige

    Answer by mygirlpaige at 12:09 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • theres a fine line between still caring and being there and still treating them like a chid.. my fam stil;l treats me like a child and its getting to the point where im ready to cut them out
    2boysmommy.js

    Answer by 2boysmommy.js at 12:15 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I feel that my almost-20 year old son needs to get away from me. I will do just about anything for him and it's not good for him. He's not learning life lessons he needs to learn. I'm NOT trying to kick him out, but I am trying to get him to go away to college...I figure if he can do that he will be learning the stuff he needs without having me to run back to. NOT because I want him out, but because he needs to mature and not be a "mama's boy".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I will always support my children, and for some kids that means they need the support of a parent telling them they need to stand on their own two feet, not on their bum in the basement.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I beleve in supporting them, but at the same time enabling them to not do what they need to to be educated andfunctioning adults never helped anyone! If mine choose to not go to college, then they must work, and move out by 20!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:28 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Actualy, I don't think I would have kicked my kids out even if they didn't go to college. If they were working,earnng money and paid rent to me,they could have stayed until they were financially ready to move out---by their own choice. Kicking kids out seems awfully cold.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 12:49 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • . It certainly doesn't mean that I don't love them but I know that part of my responsibilities of being a parent is to teach them to be an independent, self-sufficient adult, not a 30-year-old kid, still letting mommy pay the bills will s/he sits on the couch playing video games. I've seen that situation and it's not pretty.

    Answer by ceallaigh 3 minutes ago

    -----------------------------------
    well, we ALL agree on that for sure.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 1:20 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I'll never understand that. I will always parent my Son, no matter His age..it'll just be different from what I do now, but not by much. lol. I'm His Mom, dang it! =]
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 12:51 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

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