• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is it wrong to call me mommy jess?

I have been in my SS life for almost 2 1/2 years he will be three next weekend.. we made it clear i was not his mommy and he could call me whatever he likes, he calls me mommy jess and of course i love it, he is technically my first, i have one on the way. Is it wrong to call me mommy jess, we always refer to his mom as his mommy and always tell people im the step mom, and we encourage their relationship 100 percent

Answer Question
 
jturner46

Asked by jturner46 at 12:19 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think it's a great compromise. However, I'm sure nothing will please the ex that has "mommy" in it, but it sounds like you have very clear boundaries as a stepparent, and that's fantastic. Kudos to you!
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:20 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I think it's great! I have a divorced friend who's children refer to their step parents like that. Everyone's happy. :)
    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 12:25 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Good luck, I'd say don't push it. You may open a can of worms.
    b_stotka

    Answer by b_stotka at 12:25 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • It's really up to his mom, if she has no problem with it then GREAT. If she does, I wouldn't allow it because it could make things really bad. I, personally, would have a BIG problem with that (my ex isn't even married but if he was) but my situation is much different, my ex is hardley in my dd's life so and I have done all the parentin for her. The fact that he calls you that on his own means that he cares deeply for you and you prob do a great job with him. My dd calls my fiance' (who has been in her life for 3 of her almost 4 years) "daddy" but again, her dad isn't around.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 12:29 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • i am very close with him, but i dont try "to hard" im not his mother and he knows that... i would never want to take his mother's place... and i have put myself in that situation.. i think as long as my child knew i was his/her mom and that the step mother wasnt crossing boundaries then i wouldnt care.. i see it this way, if my child is CHOOSING to do it.. the person is good to my child and is happy and what more could i want for my child when they arent with me
    jturner46

    Comment by jturner46 (original poster) at 12:36 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • if my husband and i divorced and he got remarried i wouldnt mind, but i'm a weird one
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 12:41 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • As long as SS came up with it himself, I see no problem with it. If he feels comfortable to call you Mommy #2 then I feel you have done your job well in acceptance and love. And if biological mom feels that her toes on being stepped on, you could always point out that the boy came up with it and must feel loved to do so. On a personal note, I had a SM and she hated me and my sister. I remember I couldn't wait to go home to my mom's house. She made us feel like outsiders in my dad's home.
    skitNbearsmom

    Answer by skitNbearsmom at 1:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • If your SS came up with it himself and he understands that you are his step mom .... then no problem.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • How does his mom feel about it?
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:19 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • My son called my husband Dad, we didn't tell him to, he came up with it on his own. My husband raised him from age 4, and I had custody, but he had visitation with his biological dad. My husband never referred to him as his "step" son, just his son, but he always new his biological dad was that. I think if he came up with it, and you have a close loving relationship it's fine. I don't know how his mom will feel about it, that can be really hard. You've been there pretty much since the beginning though.

    Good Luck, and it sounds like you're doing a good job if he feels that close to you.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.