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How do I discipline my children?

I have a 3 1/2 yr old son and a 19mo old daughter. They are both very clingy to me, very competitive of my attention, very physical with each other (and me for that matter). My daughter pinches and scratches and my son squeezes her as hard as he can, we've even caught him with his hands around her throat. They hit and kick and push each other and when I try to put one in time out the other refuses to leave him/her alone. I can't spend time with one without fighting the other. If one sits on my lap the other tries to push him/her off of me. I can't even read the two of them a book together because they fight over who gets to sit closest to me. I am at my wits end. I am a sahm and I get no time to myself except when they sleep. I just don't know how to handle the two of them when they fight over everything so much. What do I do?

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lorihadams

Asked by lorihadams at 1:42 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Have you ever discipline the 3 1/2 before the 19 mo came along?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Nanny 911
    nora17

    Answer by nora17 at 1:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • We tried time outs and we spank when appropriate. We are still tryiing time outs but he just won't sit there...there is so much stuff in my little house there is no good place to put him either. There always seems to be something close enough to distract him, so yes we have always disciplined him. When he back talks me I also will pop him on the mouth. My mother has also threatened him with a switch.
    lorihadams

    Answer by lorihadams at 1:53 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • This is what's wrong with our entire society! I continually see questions on "How do I stop my kids from fighting?" or "How do I stop my kids from getting into everything and destroying the house?" or "How do I stop my kids from hitting each other?" ~~
    It's driving me completely insane! Do you seriously not know how to be a grown up and be a parent to your children?!?! ~~
    I run a daycare and I deal with 8 kids everyday that get away with all this kind of crap at home, but you know what? They are made to LISTEN TO ME at my house! Sure, Monday's are rough because I have to re-train them all over again, but kids understand rules, believe it or not!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Oh I know how you feel! I have two 2 yr olds, and it sounds like you are describing them LOL! I have started doing the 1 2 3 Magic discipline technique and it seems to work so far. As for when they are fighting over who will sit on my lap or next to me, if they don't stop arguing withing two minutes of me sitting down and trying to read to them, I tell them I'm getting up and I will walk away for about 5 minutes. Yes, they will start crying and throwing a fit because I got up and walked away (and I usually have to unwind myself from there little arms), but when I come back and sit down, they are better able to deal with who is going to sit where. I am a WAHM and it does get rough, but just keep trying to discipline them and let them know that you will not tolerate them acting like that.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 2:06 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I agree with Nanny 911. She will trurn yor family around!
    ljlM

    Answer by ljlM at 2:11 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • It is frustrating when it feels like you have lost control. It happens to everyone. I just feel like I am constantly fighting both of my children and I just want it to stop. I want to be in control again. How do you explain time out to a 19 month old? I tried last night and had to physically hold her down. After a few minutes I was so sore that I had to let her up (I have fibromyalgia...that's another factor).
    My son ignores me, I have to say things over and over to him and sometimes get directly in his face to get his attention. I can't be everywhere all the time. I can't catch everything.

    All I'm asking for is a little advice on how to regain control of my house....I don't need to get yelled at. If you have any constructive advice then please feel free to share!

    Thanks
    lorihadams

    Answer by lorihadams at 2:17 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I guess my question is where in the world did they learn to act that way towards eachother. It is never ok for them to choke eachother. IMO you need to be the parent and take charge and make them listen. I hope you are spanking them when this behavior happens it is not ok!
    SarahMerritt_22

    Answer by SarahMerritt_22 at 2:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I have a 3 year old and my grandchild is 15 months old. My son doesn't understand that Kaelin is not his sibling. and he gets jealous. But I do not let his feelings control his behavior. I intervene before there are issues. The younger child isn't the problem. It is the older one. Try getting the younger one involved in something that will not appeal to the older one. Then get the older one snuggled up on your lap and love on him until he can't stand it. and alternate until they have gotten their fix. Your 3 yr old is old enough to understand that the baby needs his protection and love. push that. build him up to protect the baby.
    onlycathyo

    Answer by onlycathyo at 4:13 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I think you should  do nothing..Talking to them,making them understand what they are doing wrong is the only way to go.Negativity is not the answer.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:37 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

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