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Help me understand something.

I caught my husband texting another woman. I caught him so now he says he has stopped. He has asked me to forgive him and he wants us to stay together. So, what if I hadn't caught him? Why should I forgive him for something he has stopped doing just because I caught him? I'm still trying to decide how I want to handle the situation.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • well why did you have him stop if it didnt mean anything to stop or not in the first place???

    make up your mind, if you want to be with him then be with him if not ou need to stop playing little games with him.

    dont get me wrong he needs to know what he did was not right but dont keep milking it. then you will only push him away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • That is a very valid question. He has betrayed your trust, so it's not like you can just forget about it and go back to the way things used to be. I think if you can talk it out (maybe with some professional help) so that you both understand why this happened and then fix the root cause of the problem, then you'll be able to move forward, forgive, and rebuild your trust.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 2:11 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • First, you must ask your husband, how far has the relationship between him and this woman gone? Then you must make the decision as to stay or to leave. One thing that you must keep in mind is, you'll never trust him like you did before you caught him texting another woman without getting to the root of the real problems and healing from it...therefore, before you overlook what he did, find out why he felt the need to hold conversations with another woman..maybe your marriage is in need of repair...

    Answer by treasured_hope at 2:13 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • From the OP: He said he doesn't know why he did it. Since we didn't "appear" to be having any problems I don't know why he did it either. I guess that is what we have to figure out - why he did it. He said he would go to counseling. Maybe we should.

    I'm not playing games with him. I'm trying to figure out my future. I found out just a few days ago so I hardly think I'm milking it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Counseling.

    Answer by KLBrown at 2:25 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I think you should leave him sorry to say. It sounds like he is done with the relationship i think you need to take the time and figure out what you want in life and go for it. Why waste eachothers time when he can get what he obviosly wanted and you can find someone that wants just a relationship with you or maybe just be single for awhile and have fun. Life is short don't waste it on people who don't care. Hope everything works out for you even if you do stay with him:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • If it's a relationship, it's not going to go away as easily as 'oops you caught me, okay I'll stop' he'll just get more sneaky. This was just the 'yes dear' before the storm. You just uncovered the tip of the iceburg. He's still in the denial phase of things and thinking he can keep leading you around in circles while doing whatever he wants.

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 3:04 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Oh my gosh...are you really serious??? You don't know what to do about this? He is obviously cheating on you, and instead of talking to him, or leaving him you are continually posting questions about what to do. Leave him. Don't hide behind your kids and being a sahm. It's called the government, you can get help. Get a job and leave his sorry ass. It's as simple as that, unless you want to stay with a cheater and risk catching a disease.

    Answer by DanaLamborn at 8:06 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • What exactly was he texting? Sorry if i don't automatically think the worst, i don't support cheating or anything. Did you ask who the woman was and how he knew her? Obviously if it were like he was cheating on you, i would go to counseling if you want to stay with him. Personally, I couldn't be with someone who cheated on me.

    Answer by scaruso08 at 9:32 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • From the OP: I think some of you have me confused with someone else. This is my first and only post. I will work it out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

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