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I have a step-daughter that always goes over to her mothers place whenever she doesn't like a decision her dad has made. (like having to be home earlier from her friends on a school night) How do we handle this situation?

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Dechica

Asked by Dechica at 2:18 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (10)
  • talk to her mother and make sur eyou all are on the same page. She needs to know she needs to follow rules whether it's at her mother's or at your house.
    nora17

    Answer by nora17 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • She has to make up her mind where she wants to live an what ever rules there is you follow them or you live with the other parent an let them handle it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Yes, definitely talk to the mother and make sure ya'll are on the same page as far as punishment, because right now, she thinks she can get away with stuff just because she is in trouble at her dad's house. Her mother might not know, but she needs to let her DD know that just because your in trouble there doesn't mean you get off scott free here. So discuss with her, and then keep on with the rules.
    YanniSmoMMy

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 3:00 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I agree with those answeres also, I was in a similar situation with my stepdaughter but in our case her mom was a drug addict so we had to get the police involved, good luck to you, i know stepdaughter's can be difficult sometimes...
    sylvia-ann

    Answer by sylvia-ann at 3:05 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • have the mother stop taking her in.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I totally agree with her father talking to her mother if she is at least somewhat supportive. Of course he has to be willing to do the same thing to support her mothers rules if she comes to him when she doesn't like them. Whose decision is it that she live with him? How does she get to her mothers when she leaves?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • her parents need to be on the same page...If I was a kid and something my dad didn't want me to do or something I would've gotten in trouble with him and not my mom I would use that to my advantage...my brothers parents are going through the same thing and they have finally had to sit together and set some ground rules because the kids were ruling everything!! take a hold on it before it gets out of control. good luck
    luvsgriffin

    Answer by luvsgriffin at 4:34 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • thats not how things should work-dont let her go............when she is with you what you say goes and if she doesnt like it tough!..............also, make sure all adults are on the same page!
    Tricia19

    Answer by Tricia19 at 6:05 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I agree with the other moms. Talk to her mom, let her know that the behavior is not acceptable. SHe is the child, she doesnt get to choose which rules she wants to follow. What does the father say?? Is he just letting her go to her moms everyimte she doesnt get her way? If he has full custody of her there should be no reason he has to let her go. She should get to go on the weekends and have to be home when the week starts.
    Mommy_of_two_85

    Answer by Mommy_of_two_85 at 12:34 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Remember your husband is the father, the bottom line is that it is really not your business if she goes back home when she does not get her way, it is up to her father to notica and to say something to his daughter and to his ex. Do not put yourself in the middle, be there for her if she needs help or advice but do not try to parent her. You are the other woman in her eyes and you will just give her ammuntion. Just be supportive to your husband and his daughter. I know my step daughter is now 26 and it was tough for many years. It did not get better until I realized I was not the parent and stayed out of it, she now comes to me for advice because she knows I will give her an honest answer.
    Sanxie

    Answer by Sanxie at 10:46 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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