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Mr. Perfect is an A$$HOLE! PLZ HELP!

Everything is a double standard!! Ok When you have two babies under two years old, sometimes the house gets messy! Thats reality! So why can his family come over unannounced and it's ok, infact his sister will come over and just walk right inside without even knocking, but today I had to tell my sister to turn her car around where she was and go home, bc she is not allowed to come over (Or anyone in my family) while the house is messy. But his brother was just over last night, and every night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For crying out loud his family sucks! they are rude, crude and annoying!!!! The problem?? We have been together for 4 years and are pretty good about working things out! But this is a constant problem, my family live 2 hours away, so it's abig deal to me whe they can come over to visit, and he wouldn't mind if the house was "Presentable" but I still dont think that He should get so mad abt it that he is yelling and cussing me (Even after I call and tell her to not come) UGH!!! Sometimes he makes me so mad!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • i agree. Put your foot down. It's not his house his rules. If he wants to be a dick about something as small as that, let him. Just ignor him....tell him you will not be in a one way street marriage, that if his family is allowed over so is yours. Don't put up with it.

    It's true, when woman let their inner bitch out & put their foot down, most men will back off. But, some women allow their men to make all the rules, then they get used to it & take control. Put your foot down, let him pout & be a total baby about it. It's not fare for you at all.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:16 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • What's this 'allowed' word?

    In 'It's Mostly His Fault', the author (a man) makes it clear that when a woman puts her foot firmly down on her position and stands on it, men quite happily back off. Seems to me you're being a bit too flexible... trying to make friends? Trying to please someone in the hopes that the tactic will turn into a contract where someone else will ever please you?

    The fact that he has a temper tantrum is... fascinating... but shouldn't alter what you believe about anything --including who is welcome in YOUR home.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:09 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • WOW.. Im sorry....... how long has this been an issue??? sounds just like a friend of mine and her husband in NC. I live with messy roomates and I never invite my fam or friends over cause its gross. depressing. my sons birthday. ha! Iwhat a joke. I cleaned the entire house for my family to come in and my roomates thought i was nuts. they dont care. and they let ppl stay whenever they feel as well. so in a way i KINDA know how you feel and im sorry. I hope it works out. why not setting certain days to have visitors. its always nice to pre plan sometimes
    mommyoftristan

    Answer by mommyoftristan at 5:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I'd be mad too! If he doesnt like how the house looks, give him the manual to the sweeper or hand him a dust rag! He cant keep you from seeing your family. That's actually emotional abuse when you isolate someone from their loved ones. And why should you have to tolerate his relatives all the time. Tell him you did not sign up for an "Everybody Loves Raymond" set up, and would appreciate equal treatment for both sides of the family. I would also make sure you lock your doors so no one can just walk in unannounced. If he cant meet you half way on this, suggest counseling to help work thru this before you resent him & things get worse. Good luck
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:14 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • If this is a place where BOTH of you live then its you all's house. Therefore, your family is JUST as welcome as his :)
    CandyHorse

    Answer by CandyHorse at 5:21 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • http://www.amazon.com/Its-Mostly-His-Fault-Women/dp/0446577774
    CandyHorse

    Answer by CandyHorse at 5:22 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • he could help do a quick clean up
    when my sister comes over (she lives far away too) she will chat with me while she is picking stuff up
    just something my family does

    when i went to my exes mothers house, i always pitched in to help clean up after a dinner, when his familty came to our house-no one helped me clean up after dinner-it pissed me off-just rude!

    guess it shows how someone is raised
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Put your foot down. He will throw a bitch-fit. But he'll get over it. Just be firm and consistent. What he's doing is a form of abuse, keeping you from having your family, it is isolation. My ex did that. Or tried. Just put your foot down, stand up for yourself.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • kick him to the curb let him go no one needs to be abused like that u can do better
    jimenez123415

    Answer by jimenez123415 at 12:59 AM on Nov. 21, 2010