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would you be mad?

im a full time pharmacy student, im taking 21 credit hours this quarter...well anyway my dh works evenings and is home the whole time im in school. he doesnt do anything as far as house work and i have came home several times to find him sleepin in the chair and my 3 yr old running about the house. he wont even cook lunch for her, i have to come home in between classes to feed her ohterwise all she will have is pop. i have come to my wits end today when i cleaned my dd room and found out that he had given her, her jewelry box that had her ear rings and tiny hair clippys that i had put up on her top shelf in the closet cause she isnt old enough to have them yet. now all of her earrings and such are missin or broken. most of them are ones that i had as a child and wanted her to have when she got older. and then he blames me for house always being a mess even tho im not here when the messes occur and i try to clean as much as i can in the evenings. he thinks that cause all i do is go to school that i should be able to do everything on my own on top of my homework and help my boys with their homework. it wouldnt be so bad if he at least clean up after dd and watch her to keep her from gettin into stuff but he wont. his job at work consist of passing pills in a higher functioning group home, not easy but still easier than most jobs. (i used to work there so i know) i also have 2 other kids ages 8 and 6 that are home in the evenings and in school all day....i see no excuse of why he cant do some of the housework and why he cant watch dd to keep her from gettin into things(like dumping bath soaps and shampoo out, tearing up pads and tampons, shredding books, dumping chips-crackers everywhere..) i dont know how im gonna manage until summer to move. i cant leave b4 then cause i have 2 quarters till i graduate and i plan on attending an university in another state next fall so signing another lease somewhere here is not an option besides i need to save the money i have to move on this summer...
your thoughts? advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • That has to be very frustrating, your trying your best to improve you and your families lives and he is just there waiting for you to graduate and bring in the big money.. My husband is lazy and I have worked i n adult foster care and when I would work the evenings he wouldn't feed the kids and the house would be a mess. heck there were times when I would come home and my sons diaper was past his knees, wet. Try to get some childcare set up, maybe a high school student/college student can help with things in the evening. There's even college students who can take a few hours in the day to come in and help with things and they don't ask for much.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 7:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Does you school have daycare or housing?

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:01 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Yes, I would be mad.

    It sounds like you are already planning on leaving him. does he realize that he can be charged with neglect if he isn't supervising her? The downside is that if he is, they can take her and that would hurt you too.

    Is there someone else that can watch her? I would say that if he won't be a responsible adult, you cannot make him but you can make sure that your child is in a SAFE environment.
    You are lucky that she didn't swallow any of the earrings.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:03 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I would be mad all right. Where is his pride? I'm sure he doesn't realize that he would be happier and more fulfilled if he at least tried to be a true partner.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2010