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Teen concequences

I have a daughter 15 and son 14 and I'm looking for some new concequence ideas. Any help would do..... Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Well what have you been doing so we can know what to suggest?
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 6:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Taking away cell phones
    No Internet
    No TV
    No iPod
    Earlier curfew
    No friends over
    No going to friends houses
    No going out on weekends
    ..
    I got a million of 'em lol!
    mygirlpaige

    Answer by mygirlpaige at 6:03 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • So... it sounds like you've discovered that threats, punishment and bribery don't work very well after a while. Finding 100 new ways to threaten, bribe or punish is unlikely to work any better than the last 1000 things you've tried.

    I strongly recommend William Glasser's nice little book 'Between Parents and Teenagers', but in the meantime, I would suggest that an excellent consequence for two teenagers is being listened to, taken seriously and treated generously. It's rare, but it is also astonishingly effective in opening up their ears to the wisdom and experience of their parents.

    The reason I was so grateful to find another way (other than threats, punishment and bribes) with my kids is because I realized before they were 2 that they were going to be a LOT smarter than me, so hoping to trick them into behaving like mature humans was never going to work.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I would suggest that an excellent consequence for two teenagers is being listened to, taken seriously and treated generously. It's rare, but it is also astonishingly effective in opening up their ears to the wisdom and experience of their parents.

    I agree- REALLY listening to them and having a good relationship will do way more for you/them than threats and punishment...my daughter jsut turned 17 and we have rarely had to punish her for things. We have a VERY good relationship, she tells me pretty much everything.
    My son is 14 and we are working on it- mostly his issues are jsut with getting bent out of shape quickly/easily. Nothing that he has actually done wrong (so far anyhow)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 6:22 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • my teen is 17 now, but he got into major trouble a few years back for a bad choice... he was grounded a month from everything, however i gave him the choice to "volunteer" his way out of it... we set it up that every hour of volunteer work was equal to a day of grounding... he fed the homeless (which really opened his eyes), he cleaned for people (for free!), etc... he managed to work off a couple weeks and gave back at the same time... he doesn't get in much trouble now... i trust him and the choices he makes, so that helps alot...
    babymar

    Answer by babymar at 7:27 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • i also meant to add that we follow the Love & Logic parenting style... so when my kids mess up, my first response is "bummer, what are you going to do about it?" i've also let my kids set their own consequences, which usually is worse than what i'd come up with...
    babymar

    Answer by babymar at 7:29 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Well the punishment should fit the crime, right? lol. For me, I take away privileges for most of the disciplinary issues. For example, grounding, taking away the PC use, taking away an IPOD or cell can all help the child learn from their mistakes and unfortunately they have to suffer the consequences before they get it. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 7:42 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Take their bedroom door off the hinges and put it in the garage. They have to earn it back....
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 7:49 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Make them write dictionary pages. Open the dictionary and have them write the page word for word. By the time they take their ACT's they will ace the vocab part. Have them to chores for others...elderly neighbors, family, etc. Take everything but their bed and clothes away and they have to earn them back one by one.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:28 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I had to do dictionary pages and because of it I am excellent in spelling and reading.
    for my kids I give them a mile long list of deep cleaning chores and a lecture they both have gone a long way
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:48 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

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