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6 Bumps

how do i tell my husband's fmaily to "SHOVE IT" politely? adult content

ok so my husband andi have been married for over a year and his family hates me, has since day one. (no reason either) that doesnt bother me as much as them always being in our business, like when we have a tiny meaningless disagreement and he mentions it to anyone in conversation they tell him to leave me, his dad actually said in a text message i read "leave her, theres plenty of other bitches out there" !!! seriously? im his wife. and god forbid we mention anything about having kids which we always claim is not going to be for a long time (even tho we are desperately trying now and have been for months) his whole family like starts ww3 and wont speak to him and its nuts. litrally every family member of his hates me and i really would love to tell them some choice words but at least that their opinion is neither necessary or wanted by either of us, but i dont know how to without creating this HUGE issue. idk what to do at this point. hes tried telling them that they dont even know me and to leave me alone but nothing seems to work. anyone have this problem?? if so please tell me what to do i cant take this anymore.

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mrs.sugar

Asked by mrs.sugar at 8:42 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (567 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I don't really have a good response to this, but here's a bump. Good luck! My hubby's whole family is not that bad, but his mom really doesn't like me, she just fakes it when he's around. Thankfully, he has learned to see her crap and fully supports me.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • thanks. lucky you dont have to deal with this stuff, and i understand the mother in law problem shes the absolute worst of his whole family. but thankfully like you i have a husband who supports me in the situation. now if i could just get rid of his family lol.
    mrs.sugar

    Comment by mrs.sugar (original poster) at 8:54 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Have you tried moving very far away? We can't live to close to either of our families because of stuff like this.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 8:55 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • So, why does he tell them when ya'll have a disagreement then? I don't have that problem, and other then just going for it and telling them off, IDK what advice to offer. I'm kinda surprised your hubby puts up with his family speaking of you this way, and disrespecting you like that. They are also disrespecting him, with the trash talk about his wife. It's all BS. I'd end up telling them off. Sooner or later.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:56 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • your fil refers to women as bitches? any man who does that is a true jerk...
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 9:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • It is your husband who needs to cut the strings, not you. If you tell them off, then they will just complain more to your husband and they will enjoy that you had a reaction. Your husband needs to stand up to them and tell them to respect his wife, and if they can't do it then he needs to recognize that they are not really supporting him or in his best interest...just trouble makers. I say to you, take the high road, the scenery is better! In the meantime I would not have anything to do with them until they can be polite and respectful of your marriage.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 9:01 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • i wish we could move away believe me but truthfully minus them i really like it here i want to raise my kids here i moved to kentucky from california where i grew up and i like the southern smaller town aspect not to mention my mom and brother moved here as well and i couldnt leave them. your lucky you could get away i may have to if it doesnt stop. and to you raine2001 that is a very good question why he tells them ive wondered that but hes had such a screwed up family dynamic his whole life i feel like hes just trying to have normal conversations with them and it like slips out, i mean he sees how i tell my mom about everything and just wants that with his family. he has told them off and i mean hardcore but he wants a normal family so bad when they apologize and act like they wont do it again he feels obligated to try with them. your right tho i will prolly end up telling them off myself i mean no one can live like this.
    mrs.sugar

    Comment by mrs.sugar (original poster) at 9:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • There you go, just set down a main ground rule....no talking to eachothers families about ANY disagreement you have together. Tell him you will no longer talk to your family about your difference of opinions and he should do the same. He needs to speak to his family members if need be in smaller groups and make sure they understand that YOU are his wife and they need to respect that fact. HE will have to set those limits or it can get worse. Tell him either HE does it or you will have to do it for him.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • thats some good advice. but he knows how i feel about it im hoping he will try harder to get them to stop but really its more likely that its either them or me and i dont want to do that to him not that i would but they would they really dont like me. but i guess we'll just have to take it one day at a time and see how it goes i will tell him il stop talking to my mom about stuff but really idk if that the best thing she loves him i think she likes him more than she likes me lol and shes always trying to help him and being supportive of both of us shes helped out with a lot of issues weve had. idk maybe il just ask if thats something that would make him feel more comfortable.
    mrs.sugar

    Comment by mrs.sugar (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • well in ur sweet vocie tell them this is my life please keep ur nose out of it
    jimenez123415

    Answer by jimenez123415 at 12:32 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

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