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How do you punish your children??

I have a 5 year old boy who is virtually unpunishable. He has a problem with not listening when spoken to and not doing what he is told. He also likes to talk back and has a huge entitlment issues. We have taken away dessert, tv, toys, and time outs. I was beat as a child and really do not want to physically punish him. No matter how we punish him he is not fazed. We are at wits end since we now have a 2 month old daughter and don't want her to pick up his habits.

 

We don't let him play with video games and and will when he looses tv and toy privelages we still allow him books. We've taken away dessert for a whole week at one point, he only asked about it once and then never seemed to care. We put him in time out for only 5 minutes tell him why before we put him down and talk to him about it once the time is up and he is to apologize if he feels he should. But will end up doing the same thing the same or very next day. Unpunishable, keep the ideas coming please!!

Answer Question
 
andria82

Asked by andria82 at 9:58 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,278 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I don't punish I correct and/or redirect. It totally depends on what I am correcting as to how I do it. Sometime it's a time out. Sometimes it's privilege loss. Once in a blue moon it's a quick swat on the behind. The correction typically correlates with whatever the issue was.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • My daughter is two and we use time-out a lot. Since she is two, she sits in time-out for two minutes each time and I usually talk to her about why she's there and stuff. If she still misbehaves after the time-out, she gets things taken away. I'll shut the door to her room so she can't play with toys, she won't get her dessert or "treat" after lunch and she'll get TV time taken away. If she doesn't respond to time-outs, talking it out or getting things taken away, then we go to a spanking. She also gets little pops on the hand for touching things after being told no and such. I was spanked as a child, I never thought of it as abuse. Once I got spanked I never did it again, but unfortunately not all kids respond that way. Spankings aren't for everyone.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 10:03 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I do exactly the same as But_Mommie
    The key is consistency :)
    MumaSue

    Answer by MumaSue at 10:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • take other things he enjoys. We take video games, computer time, Tv, fun with friends, have them write what they did wrong, state why they will not do it again and appoligize for doing it, there are a number of things you can do!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 10:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I don't use punishment.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • with my 8 year old punishment doesnt work.....like i cant say you did this you get a time out. what works is that she can physically see her behavior. this is why teachers use charts. the most difficult kids typically respond to charts that give rewards for good behavior. a bad mark on the chart basicly erases a good one so the reward is less. so 5 $ a week could turn into nothing if she gets more than 3 bad marks a day,so 1 $ is lost for every three bad marks for the week. so they try to get good marks and realize that the bad ones have a consequence that hurts them. also sometimes i notice that if i dont remember to say good job, or even just simply thanks for your help then she will fight the nexttime. so she remembers that last time she did a load of laundry i said thanks for your help and wants to do it again. but if i say " did you get that laundry in" and forget that thank you she will fight the next day if i ask her
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 10:51 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • My little ones get time-outs and a rare spanking.
    The older ones are grounded and lose privileges.
    mama10johnsons

    Answer by mama10johnsons at 11:32 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I use different forms of correction depending on the offense and the child. I have 9 (5 girls, 4 boys) from 9 -21. Of course the only correction with my 21 year old is communicating. We talk often so she understands what is required of her. I have had to deal with rebellion with one or two of my children, and I have had to add more chores, less free time, no game playing, no access to mp3 players. Basically, I have had to take certain "freedoms" away, and that works for them and for my husband and I. I would encourage you mom, to not give in or give up. Consistent continued correction is what you will have to do for a while. Sometimes, children's behavior is just a symptom of our parental styles and our communication or lack of. Do you talk often with him? Do you spend time with just him, maybe to a park or having lunch together just the two of you?
    Lordgivemewizdm

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 12:26 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • We don't want to break our children's spirit, just their will to want to do their own thing. Make time with your son every week to do something that just the two of you get to do, and perhaps through that one on one he will reveal to you why he does what he does. Study him.
    Lordgivemewizdm

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 12:29 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • He has started kindergarten and gets a daily light. Either green with a sticker for a super day, green for a good day, yellow for an ok day and red for a bad day. We came up with a reward system based on a weekly and monthly scale. This does nothing for him. He really doesn't care. My DF and I have tried rotating Tuesdays for one on one, either dinner or playing outside things like that. When he is really bad he looses that too and doesn't seem to care. No matter when you discuss his behaviour with him he always says he doesn't know. I love my DS very much and when he is good he is the greatest boy in the world. He is great helper with his new sister and helps to clean up around the house because he enjoys it. He is just ungrateful and seems to have a sense of entitlement. This has all started within the last year so I"m not sure where it is coming from.

    andria82

    Comment by andria82 (original poster) at 9:44 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

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