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4 Bumps

wanting to be alone

what do you do when you just want to be alone? not for a few minutes or days or whatever... but if you're in a loving, respectful relationship, and you just want to be alone- forever? you want to break up with him b/c you want to be alone.... and its not because you arent being pleased- its just the depression and sadness taking over. I've been battling depression/suicide for years now, I've been in therapy, I've been on meds, I've talked about it... but nothing seems to be helping. I just want to be by myself... and once my son becomes an adult, I know I'll want the same from him--- to go out into the world so i can be alone.

The thing is, I KNOW its my depression thats making me feel like this.... but how do i stop the feeling? what can i do? is there anything I can really do?

I also know that i dont want to be alone 24/7--- i CRAVE human interaction just like other people, but my social and general anxiety blocks me from doing so. I haven't even taken my son to the park (or any play area) in a month b/c of my fear of the outside world.

Answer Question
 
Shy_Dia

Asked by Shy_Dia at 10:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,142 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I feel the same. I just try to get through it. I am not unhappy but I would be happier as a recluse completely on my own.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:16 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • wow, did I write this? Nope, my kids are grown and gone and I do like being alone. I suffer from depression too and phobias. Twin Souls, imagine that! Thanks. Now I know I'm not alone
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Maybe it's not just depression. If the meds didn't work, it might not be depression. Have you seen a psychiatrist? Or just a general practitioner? I was on depression meds, several of them, for years. None helped. It was depression, it was bipolar. I've been on Lamictal for a few years, and it's really helped.
    I really don't think being alone is the answer. I think you would just fall into a deeper depression. I think you need to find a better doc, the right psychiatrist that can help you. Once you have the right meds, the therapy will work better.
    Ah, you also have anxiety. You'd need something for that, and work on that, too. My docs kept trying to put me on things that just made me drowsy. I'd had Ativan for anxiety, and it works. It can be highly addictive, but I have a very low dose, and don't take it every day. Duh, I'm not gonna get addicted. So, I see a psychiatrist to get it. Go see one. They can help you! GL:)
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:23 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Im alone right now. Kids are gone tonight. If you are prone to depression, not being alone keeps you grounded,,,believe it or not. It keeps you on a schedule. I was diagnosed with severe depression at one point in my life and the thing that got me through it was a schedule. As hard as it is, you gotta keep going on. You have to walk through it one day at a time. It took a long time for me to work through the severe depression, but my kids and their schedules kept me moving forward. You might think about changing your meds. Lots of depression meds out there, dont give up!
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:25 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • Depression can cripple a person and destroy all they hold dear and that is what it is doing to you. I've been through exactly what you're going through to the point that I was taking so many scripts that I knew I would someday overdose but I didn't care. I was destroying everything around me on purpose, including me. I know it's not what you want to hear and it takes time and patience which is something those of us in this state do not have but you will work through it. Please send me a message if you want to chat. Please...
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:32 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I was just going through the same thing last week: wanting to be alone. I even cancelled Thanksgiving. But what helped me was stopping myself from being alone--as hard as that is (it is such a downward spiral). I called a friend and we talked. Then, I talked to a few more. Then, I joined CafeMom. I don't have as much of the social anxiety, but I agree with the ladies above as far as depression crippling you and being alone NOT being the answer. Try doing a role-reversal and look at you from your SO's eyes; what do you see? Someone with a good house? Amazing kid? Good family? Try to take a deep breath and be objective. If this doesn't cut it, call a friend. Schedule time to see a therapist. I am glad I am not alone in feeling as you do (I was actually going to post a similar question). Know that you are not alone.
    Chocolatespring

    Answer by Chocolatespring at 11:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • sweet heart you need to start a writing log let ur soul pour out on to the pages dont keep ur son inside let him make u get out into the world and enjoy life
    jimenez123415

    Answer by jimenez123415 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • i cant remember the meds i was on for depression but i stopped taking them because they made me feel worse than i was before....i thought about suicide more when i was on the meds,i feared the outside world,i had not urge at all to do anything or go anywhere....it got worse on the meds.....depression in general made me want to be alone...i didnt want to talk to anyone,be wround anyone....i wanted alone time forever.....but the more i talked to my mom the less i wanted to be alone.....
    SMALLfry05

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 12:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

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