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3 Bumps

Choosing between two fathers.

I currently have a almost 5 year old daughter that lives in texas while i live in iowa.. i made the decicion to give her father primary custody because my living situation was bad at the time and the area around here is not very good, so as a result for the past year i only get her during the summer and on certain holidays when i can afford to fly her up. Now just a couple weeks ago i gave birth to a son with another man i live with here in iowa, i now have the opportunity to move down to texas and be with my daughter and essentually have my daughter and "family" back..... my problem is that my sons father that i currently live with is really excited about having a son and i would feel awful taking his son from him and moving so far away... but i really love my daughter and want to be with her and her dad so i am just torn as to make myself happy by moving there or stay here and be unhappy with my sons dad to make him happy... PLZ HELP im sooo confused!

Answer Question

Asked by portiaanne at 10:09 PM on Nov. 20, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Can the new dad move to Texas?

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • I agree with admckenzie. Would moving to TX be an option for your sons father?

    Answer by MomOfTheWillful at 10:16 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • i have talked to him about moving down there so i could be closer to my daughter but he refuses to leave the area that he is so familiar with even though its not a "good" area

    Comment by portiaanne (original poster) at 10:19 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • i told him all along during the whole pregnancy that i was going to eventually move down there with or without him to be with my child

    Comment by portiaanne (original poster) at 10:22 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • wow, that is a pickle....

    just decide where is better for your children to live.. tell your sons father that his son will have a better future in texas and that he is welcome at any time to come see him or to live there..... maybe after a few visits he will want to move there too

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 10:30 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You need to do what is best for you and what makes you happy becuase being unhappy is not good for your son either.

    Answer by CarlieJS at 11:15 PM on Nov. 20, 2010

  • You need to do what is best for you and your kids. If he doesn't want to make the move but you think it's best for you, do it. Maybe he'll eventually follow if he wants to see his child and spend time with him as much as he does now.

    Answer by Dark-N-Prego at 10:50 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I want to make sure I understand. Would you be getting back together with you daughter's father? Is that how you would be getting your "family" back? You have another family, too, right? The one with your live in boyfriend & your son?


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:06 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • i would be staying with my daughters father for the time being until i can get a job and get on my feet, if we end up back together that would be fine too but im not jumping into it. the only reason i am still with my sons father is because we got pregnant, i am not in love with him

    Comment by portiaanne (original poster) at 3:14 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I think that you still don't have yourself toghether and need to do that b/f anything else. I think its great that you made the decision to do what was best for dd then, but are you really ready? You live and just had a baby with one man and are going to move to another state to live with the father of your previous child .....
    where is YOUR stability? I mean yours NOT with a man?
    Do you have a job and a support system lined up (not including baby dad's) anywhere?

    Your not choosing b/w two dad's your looking at choice b/w 2 men and aren't really ready for either.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 7:45 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

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