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How do I control my 5yr old son's mouthiness?

My son has been through a lot in the last year (his real dad moved away, both his dad and I got remarried, etc) but for the last couple months he has been EXTREMELY mouthy.. I have tried spanking, taking his favorite things away, putting him in the corner, and grounding.. nothing seems to work. For example.. I tell him that he needs to go get a shower, he says he doesn't want to and I tell him too bad go shower or he can just go straight to bed, he says NO repeatedly with total attitude.. thats a mild example.. other times he will call us "stupid dummy", "idiot", "I hate you", and "big jerks".. Now I know those aren't bad words for us adults but for a 5 year old thats pretty harsh. He also just started Kindergarten this year... Not sure if he is picking up some attitude or language from there? Please Help! :)

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Asked by Jessnzach at 3:38 PM on Nov. 4, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • my son says the same things i just smack him in the mouth and tell him he hurt my feelings or when he says he hates me i just tell him i love him still i think its just a phase they go through

    Answer by wendy232425 at 3:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • See, I don't understand why people come on here asking how to control their child. You are the parent, take control. Haven't you ever heard of a bar of soap, put it is his mouth, give him a swat on the butt and viola!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I have given him a swat on the butt. I am not asking how to control my child I am asking for advice on a method that might work better than mine.. Lets not get so negative here. You may never know unless you personally experience it. A swat on the butt or soap in the mouth aren't always going to work for every child. Every child is different.

    Answer by Jessnzach at 3:56 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • Ok lets not get bent out of shape here. All children are different. And I agree that different methods work on different children. My DD is scared to death of the belt. I have never whipped her with it I fold it in half and pop the two straps together) She will automatically listen. My other DD I had to put some hot sauce on her tongue or a single drop of dish liquid it doesnt wash out as fast. LOL Some of my friends say to pop them on the mouth. I didn;t do that unless I just really mad or had no hot sauce handy. I wish you the best Had you tried taking things away like TV time or even skipping a snack. Something that with get to him.

    Answer by JamieLynn641 at 4:15 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I have taken TV time away, time outside away, earlier bed time, I have even unplugged his tv in his room for the night before. I just am not sure. I try not to pop him in the mouth b/c he gets a bloody nose real easy (and no its not even a hard hit) or there have been times where I have popped his mouth and his tooth caught his gums and made them bleed. I feel really bad then even if I didn't hardly pop his mouth. I know it sounds like I am but I don't. if I spank his butt he jerks away and when I do actually get his butt he may stop for a minute or sometimes he gets worse.

    Answer by Jessnzach at 5:07 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • It sounds like he has anger issues, which is understandable with everything going on in his little life! I would highly suggest some therapy to help him learn how to cope with the changes and stress.

    As far as discipline, just be consistent. Don't get angry(atleast don't let him know you're mad!), don't argue with him and punish him without emotion. Spanking probably won't work with this situation.

    If you threaten to take something away, then do it. Don't give him multiple chances, be firm.

    Answer by MommaLucy at 5:41 PM on Nov. 4, 2008

  • I think that there may be more than you realize that he is going thru. His "real" Dad is gone and then you and your husband have split up? This is alot for him to handle and he is probably very angry and sad.
    TV in the bedroom is never a good idea. Having boundaries and consequences are a good idea. Calmly give him the guidlines. When it gets bad, tell him that if this keeps on, he will have the priviledge taken away that you told him before. Follow thru.
    Please, do not "pop him' in the mouth. It will only teach him agression.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Yes your son needs discipline but he is also going through a lot right now, I would get him into some counceling.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:25 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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