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My son overheard me telling my mother on the phone how my husband is driving me crazy.

He blew a lot of money at the casinos at a work related convention. My son heard the part that hubby is making me nuts. So I tried to explain to my son what hubby did and my son told me there is nothing he can do and that he does not like what he did either. In the meantime my son avoids talking to me talks only to his dad about school, I have to over hear conversations during dinnertime. ALso son always answers ok, every time I ask him to do something. He is in 9th grade.What should I do with my child?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • This is common. He knows his father is a screw up but as a young pup, he needs an alpha male to guide him and unfortunately, his dad is the closest option. You are the caregiver. Just show him support and lots of love and hopefully he'll be able to see his dad for what he really is and take another path.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:06 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Oohhh, IDK. This is tough. Maybe it's time to have a family meeting. It sounds like your son feels you betrayed your husband by talking about him behind his back to your mom. He may not understand that you need to vent, and you vent to your mom. The only thing I can think of is for the three of you to sit down and talk. As it stands, it's not a comfortable situation for any of you.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:57 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I am thinking this would be a no brainer in my house but everyone is different. I have teens and this is what I would do in your situation. I would take the one who seemed so upset and tell them that I know he over heard what I said, that I am really angry about what happened, I'm angry at your dad, and I'm not sure how to handle being this mad but I love you and I love your dad. It's just going to take time to let this pass but parents sometimes have really big disagreements and that's life. It doesn't mean we don't love each other. I would tell him we are going to work this out but it's going to take time to get over it. I'd tell him I loved him, tell him again I loved his dad and that eventually everything was going to be ok. Then I'd truly work on making it ok and finding forgiveness.
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 9:22 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Ask him what's wrong. Parents even when they disagree they have to see that you and your husband are in unison that you both are a team. You don't want to have your children pick sides even if you didn't mean in that way your son being young still sees it that way. Talk to him and tell him that even though his father did something that wasn't OK, he's still a good dad. That way your son doesn't feel like he's in the middle.

    Jenaiko01

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 8:58 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I agree with Raine, a family sit down is in order. He's a teen and there is lots going on with them at this age.
    karensue65

    Answer by karensue65 at 9:00 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Your husband needs to apologize and make the approriate movements to correct the situation.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:06 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I think you confess to your husband in the presence of your son the conversation you had with your mom. Ask both of them to forgive you for violating family privacy. It may be that you need to seek some kind of counsel, but you have to know that your mom is going to be biased in whatever advice she might give you. Your son probably sees it as being disloyal to his daddy, and he doesn't like that part. I think it would be best to just come clean to both of them and admit you probably made an error in judgment.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:01 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I do not feel that you have anything to apologize for. But you do need to discuss the situation the three of you. Hopefully your husband is mature enough to have the right attitude about your sons reaction.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:05 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • He has. He said he was sorry asked for my forgiveness. I have put up with alot. But to pink slipper, you are so spot on !
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:10 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • rentamom, that is so exactly what I need to say to my teen.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:31 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

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