Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Do you think this is wrong of me to do?

Our son is 6 and Monday-Saturday, we are always focused on him, whether it be playing board games at night time or taking him to play his sports. On Sunday, my husband and I like to relax and have a bit of "us" time. We normally stay in our bedroom, watch tv, read, etc. Our son has a choice of playing in his room, watching tv or a movie, drawing, etc. He often whines about having to play alone. It's not all day but a good portion of the day. I think it is good for him to have some down time and to be alone to his imagination. My family disagrees however. What is your opinion on this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Nov. 21, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (43)
  • I side with your family. That's all I I'm going to say.
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:27 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • at 6 he may be able to play alone and good for him, but not in a long stretch of time-too much toask for a child of 6
    get a sitter and do up a sat night, AND have some time in am on sunday, but not too long a time
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:29 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • My problem isn't with him learning to play on his own. A child should learn to entertain themselves. It's about HOW you are doing it. While I understand it's important for you to have some time with our SO, your child should not be shut in his room so you can achieve this.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:31 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I disagree. That is like leaving him home alone to take care of himself. I think it is fine to have some alone time for you and your husband but you need to find something different for your son to do. Let him spend the night with a friend the night before or with grandma or a cousin or something. No kid wants to play alone or be alone. Schedule husband and wife time and make arrangements for your son during that time. It would even be different if you were all in the same room and he was playing and you two were watching TV or something but making him play completely by himself while you two are in bed I think is very wrong.
    CarlieJS

    Answer by CarlieJS at 10:33 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I agree with the other moms. Sorry, adult time is important, we always made ours for after the boys went to bed on a Saturday night, not while they were up. An hour of rest or reading time for him sometime during the day would be alright, but not "a good portion of the day", he's way too young.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:39 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I guess I need to clarify. He is free to come out of his room. He is not locked in there or anything and our bed room door stays open. Our rooms are right next to each other. We do go check on him and we stop what we are doing for breakfast and lunch and eat together and sometimes we will watch a family movie together after lunch. I guess I find it odd that my family disagrees with this since this is what my parents did as well with my sisters and I.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:42 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I grew up an only child, and when friends weren't available & my parents were busy, I found ways to entertain myself. And even tho I had some cool stuff, I didn't have near the options for entertainment like the kids do today. I see nothing wrong w/ having some R & R, as long as you break up the day to have some family time. Like for meals & maybe a movie for the whole family. ( I know that's not likely during football season tho :) We, the parents dont always have to schedule every second of our kids' days, and we dont always have to be their form of entertainment either. Enjoy your R & R in modereration. Every parent deserves to.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:45 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • He's a tad young for that. I agree, but at 6, I'd only make him go solo for may 2 hours. He's still quite little. What your wanting is something you might get from a child 8-10YO.

    I do agree about the Me Time, but hours on end during the heart of the day is asking alot. What we do, is simply get up before the kids do (or stay up a bit later) and sacrifice a bit a sleep to have our "me Time". Works for us.

    Keep in mind what he's going to remember as an adult is being locked out and on his own when he was little and he'll get used to that and possibly not feel he needs you as he's adapted over time for doing for himself. Could become a very anti-social person based on this one small ting. You never know.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:56 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Look at it this way, you are showering him with attention for 6 straight days and then expect him to just automatically know what to do when alone. If you want him to have alone time you need to structure it better. Yes it is nice for us, as adults, to have long stretches of alone time but for kids it is not the same.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:59 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • to add to your second comment that this is what your parents did the difference is that there were and your sister. 2 of you not 1 of you buy yourself and 6 years old is too young. In a couple of years he will want to be alone hanging out in his room but at 6 he needs mom and dads attention more than just breakfast and lunch. At 6 I don't think kids understand why mommy and daddy don't want to play with me today. if it were me I would feel like it was some kind of punishment.
    CarlieJS

    Answer by CarlieJS at 11:08 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN