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I lost my job last week, where do we now draw the line on Christmas gifts for grown kids?

So I lost my job last week. We have been married 13 years. We raised my 17 year old son together. Hubby has 3 grown kids from first wife, who by the way all inherited tons of money from a Granny passing, All r doing much, much better then us, money wise. All have brand new homes and cars..paid off. So Hubby insists on spending at least 50.00 on each one of them, them there r 3 grand kids. Lord we just don't really have an extra $200 or $250 laying around right now. Its kind of a touchy subject with him tho, as they treat him like shit. He still tries and tries, but like always its never enuf. They r very materialistic. We sent a wine rack for a wedding gift, as we were broke at the time, we never even got a Thank u card, never even got acknowledged. At 2 of the weddings that they had, not one pic of my hubby(Father of the one getting married)  was taken. The bottom line is ... we don't have enuf to offer them so they write my hubby off.  Its sad to watch him get hurt by this over the years. I try to stay out of it, as i have problems with them in the past. They r drama and rude to us both..  Help.... what would be something nice to give them  that don't  leave us broke.  the gifts that we give them don't mean anything to them anyways.  Hubby still wants to give them all something tho.

Answer Question

Asked by mistameanermom at 11:10 AM on Nov. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I wold just explain to them that christmas will be small this year. they should understand. Christmas really isn't about receiving gifts. Maybe cut it back to $20 you can find some great things for $20 and then cook dinner for everyone. I love dinner with my family way more than gifts, I guess after losing my dad it means so much more to me.

    Answer by CarlieJS at 11:12 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Send them a Hallmark card and tell them you love them ! I am sorry but I agree with you ! You don't need to be treated like that and especially now! Best of luck!

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 11:14 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I wouldn't get gifts for grown up's if we didn't have the money. I'd focus Christmas strictly on the kids and grandkids. If you don't have it, you just don't have it.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 11:15 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • your hubby needs to understand that money doesn't buy love, no matter what you buy these people they sound like they're never going to truly appreciate it. why waste your hard earned and hard to come by money on some ungrateful kids? Christmas is not about giving or receiving, it's about being a family and enjoying one another. Sorry but if my kids were that greedy and rude to me all I would do is send a Christmas card and wish them a Happy Holiday. I understand where your hubby is coming from but neither of you deserve that kind of treatment.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • honestly sorry to say but it sounds like they dont deserve anything if thats how they are going to treat others. Christmas isnt about giving and recieving anyway its about being with family but if your husband insists on getting them something then i say keep it simple. cute little made up gift baskets with bottle of wine with little snacks or even maybe a basket thats set up for alittle picknick.
    just remember that some day hopefull they will look at their behavior and relize they have been in the wrong untill then just try to enjoy the holidays with your husband and celebrate what you do have love for each other.

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 11:18 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • If only it were that simple, We been living 30 miles from them now for 7 years, I can count on one hand the number of times that they have been here, the daughter has never been here. I keep my distance, respectfully. i attend some of the functions but not so much, after we went to the daughters graduation party and there was a family photo album laying out of her growing up for all to see.... every single pic of her Dad(my Hubby) the face was cut of of... how ride... I am sure it was done by the exwife, but still why lay it out? It was hurtful and nasty. we attended his sons wedding... got sat in the corner in the back.. the mother runs everything,, she has all the power... all the money. She remarried a wealthy man, he never raised then kids, yet he walked the daughter down the isle.... hmmmm see how nasty they r? Its the first time i ever vented to anyone about this,,, dont mean to But thanks

    Comment by mistameanermom (original poster) at 11:20 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • o and at the wedding, the wedding planner said that the Dad walks down the isle first, but nope, the ex wife and her hubby walked first, plus they played a video of the son, full of pics, only one of hubby from 25 years ago and many of the ex wifes hubby, who she has only been with for 7 years.... We got the son a gift last year, it sat here til June, til hubby caught up with him to give it to him. This whole gift thing is stressing me out this year.


    Comment by mistameanermom (original poster) at 11:28 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • It sounds like your husband has a good heart and good intentions, but money is an issue this year.

    What about sending a photo with a heart-felt letter instead of a gift to each of the adults in your husband's life? Your husband can personalize it to each of his children and list a few memories of his child that made him proud of him/her. He can include his hopes for the holiday season and the futre in general.


    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:29 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • Goood idea!! Maybe a nice pic of Hubby I could personalize with a memory or quote to each of them in a frame..............hmmmmm Thanks tons for the idea, I love this one.hugs


    Comment by mistameanermom (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Nov. 21, 2010

  • I don't expect Christmas gifts from my dad and haven't since I turned 18. It's always appreciated but never expected. I can't imagine being pissed because he didn't give me something. That's selfish and petty. I don't expect gifts from him for my kids either although he usually tries. Again, it's always appreciated but never expected. The last Christmas gift I got from my dad was my camera in 2008. It was a huge surprise. It was the first gift I had gotten from him in years (usually he just sent me money if anything). My birthday is in December, too, and I don't expect gifts for that, either. I'm not a child and don't need gifts anymore.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:35 PM on Nov. 21, 2010

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