My dh and I have been married 11 years happily...all except for his mother (in particular) It has recently gotten worse and I dont know why.
She has never been the most helpful or involved MIL....but lately it has been NO involvement on her part....even though she lives 3 blocks down the road. She has not been for a visit to our home in months and months...the only time she sees our kids is when WE take them to her.
In the past she has done various things to loose my trust and respect (would make this post too long) but anyways....I have pulled away and quit trying with her. I feel b/c she has ignored my kids and us too that she has lost her privalage of babysitting. Not that she wants too anyways...she told my SIL NO this summer to babysitting her son while she finished her nursing classes....I ended up watching him all summer while dealing with morning sickness.
Anyways...DH stands up for her regaurdless and never ceasing. I get blamed for the situation b/c I am not treating her equally like I do MY parents who are VERY giving loving and helpful with our kids....
Answer by CarlieJS at 11:18 AM on Nov. 21, 2010
First of all you're not to blame at all. It looks like this is just her personality. It is something you'll have to except and something you cant control. I think you can be civil toward her without being rude. I wouldn't want her around if she lost my trust. As regards to your children she's missing out. Can you sit down with her and tell her how you feel... She might not even take it the right way but at least you'll get it off your chest. Then after you talk to her, let her know that you're not going to be rude to her but yo had to let her know how you felt. Be the grown up in the situation not the child, she already has that role down. Still be respectful since it is your husbands mother but don't let your guard down. You seem like a smart lady dont stoop to her immature level.
Answer by Jenaiko01 at 11:25 AM on Nov. 21, 2010
Answer by Korysmom96 at 11:40 AM on Nov. 21, 2010
also, keep conversations with hubby regarding his mother down to a bare minimum, sounds like he has turned a deaf ear to you anyway. It will be so much easier on your marriage if you can try to take the focus off of her. I know how much she has hurt you, but like the other ladies have said, this is her mode and personality. Accept who she is and get on with the business of life. You can still have that talk with her if you want to, but dont expect hubby to get it or intervene, this is his mother and he doesnt want to be in the middle,,good luck
Answer by beyondhopes at 11:43 AM on Nov. 21, 2010
Answer by mamax4our at 11:47 AM on Nov. 21, 2010
Answer by ohwrite at 11:50 AM on Nov. 21, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Nov. 21, 2010
Answer by elizabr at 1:00 PM on Nov. 21, 2010
Answer by lillie70 at 1:17 PM on Nov. 21, 2010
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